How Candice got her Bergen back

Nobody, least of all Frank, would deny that “Not the Real” Candice Bergen (Con.– Portage-Lisgar) has earned pride of place on the government benches, blonde-sandwiching Steve Harper with Michelle Rempel for the circulatory benefit of lonely CPAC viewers.

The avenging undertaker of the gun registry and minister of state for social development, Bergen has shinnied steadily up the greasy pole of party politics, especially since she shed her old identity as plain Candice Hoeppner and reverting to her maiden moniker.

Bergen rebranded after finalizing her divorce

Bergen announced the rebranding in the House last September, nearly a year after finalizing her divorce from the ol’ ball-and-surname, David Hoeppner, a middle school principal back in Winkler, Man. No mention of Dave or the d-word in the famval fembot’s address.

Dave and Candice, who married in 1986, signed a separation agreement May 12, 2011, a week after Candice’s re-election. Likely not her only Portage-Lisgar constituent experiencing buyer’s remorse, Dave served her with divorce papers May 24, citing marital breakdown.

Terribly sad, of course, but on the bright side, court filings show elected office had a salutary effect on Bergen’s bottom line. In 2008, the year she was elected, she’d scratched out $39,447 as a “financial agent/advisor/consultant/political organizer.” In 2009, the honourable member banked $169,007. Public service is sacrifice above all.

Bergen has taken up with–egad!–a Liberal!

Dave, who’d made $82,929 that year, waived any claim to spousal support, and Candice (who now makes $217,700 as social development czarina), let him keep his bitch-ass little teacher’s pension intact, while she walked away with her platinum-plated MP entitlements.

As a scwhingin’ divorcee, Bergen has gone on to give her benchmates a queasy sense of MacKay-Stronach déjà vu, taking up jogging with Andrew Balfour, a consultant/shineboy for the Liberals!

Tales of the hormonal duo steaming up corporate boxes at Sens’ games with rounds of tonsil hockey soon got back to the PMO’s crack squad of moralists. Bergen was urged to cut out the bipartisan caucus meetings or forget about going into cabinet.

So she iced Balfour and the invite to Rideau Hall duly arrived in July.

But nobody puts Candy in a corner. Sly Andy is back in the picture, but Candice isn’t always as discreet as might be expected from a minister of state. Hill Times papparazzo Jake Wright snapped them together this month at the Hope Live gala at GCTC. Fortunately, nobody reads the Hill Times.


Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUponEmail this to someone

Leave a Reply