As the Corpse Turns…



If the brutal sacking last week of Bridget Hoffer is any indication, CBC sluggos are in for a rough ride under the whip of new headmistress Heather Conway.

Hoffer, longtime head of CBC communications, was frog-marched out of the Corpse bunker, serving notice that Conway will do whatever it takes to turn ’round the Ship of Doom–just as Kirstine Stewart and Richard Stursberg promised before her.

Conway also has something else in common with her predecessors; she’s a little bit loopy.

Compare, for instance, Conway’s bluntly-worded announcement of Hoffer’s execution to this memo to staff last Christmas: “Remember if you are heading to parents, your mum’s dream is for all her children to love one another like angels, whether you are 24, 44, 54, or older…so be nice to your brother even if he is an idiot, it’s the best present EVER for your mum.”

Conway’s bipolar shtick will be familiar to her former underlings at the AGO (where she was chief business officer until the Corpse came calling), or to Camilla Gibb, Conway’s former partner.



Alas, the Gibb-Conway union ended abruptly in 2010, when Heather came home one day and announced she was filing for divorce.

No matter that Gibb was eight weeks pregnant, Conway was leaving her for another sushi enthusiast, Patricia Rozema—(film thingy, I Heard the Mermaids Sinking, etc.)

The famously prickly Gibb didn’t take it quietly, firing a few salvos at Conway in a piece for Toronto Life the following year: “I had thought we were happily married, in it for life, making a family together. Apparently my spouse had other thoughts. There I was at 42, left to face something I had never imagined: pregnancy and new motherhood alone.”

Meanwhile, Hoffer’s temporary replacement at the Corpse is none other than Bonnie Brownlee, the prominent Royal watcher and shopping consultant.



Her appointment is just the latest in a distinguished career that includes service as Mila Muldoon’s faithful bag carrier in the nineties, when she assisted the First Lady with her vital policy initiatives and fact-finding missions to Holt Renfrew.

Bonnie also had a short stint as an image consultant for Belinda Stronach, prior to her run for Conservative Party Leadership in 2004.

She has also served as advisor to the Duke & Duchess of York, and John F. Kennedy Jr.

She is a recipient of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Medal.

Pip! Pip!





Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUponEmail this to someone
7 comments on “As the Corpse Turns…
  1. portabletrading says:

    But who turkey-basted? C’mon Frank, you’re letting us down!

  2. Patrick60 says:

    Is this sorry lot all we have at the top??

    • mmedesevigne says:

      You may well ask! I’ve worked for nutbars like these all my life. They only thing I could never figure out was how the hell they ever got where they did.

  3. OJM says:

    Listen up, CBC. How about a show featuring a giant, a talking giraffe, a rooster…and a cynical , sharp-tongued hooker? Could be just the thing to replace HNIC.

  4. Buckwheat says:

    Ah yes, the infamous Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Medals. Better than cash left on a hooker’s dresser. If Frank was only there at the time…

Leave a Reply