CRIMEA RIVER, MR. OBAMA!

I guess if you live long enough you see everything come back, like Kim Novak and the Cold War. Just never expected to find myself switchin’ sides on both of ’em.

Time was, nobody wanted to nuke Russia more than me. If I coulda gone full-on Slim Pickens down the Kremlin’s chimney I’d have felt like I won the lottery. And mind, that was as recent as the Yeltsin years, fun as he was.

But things change. Mr Putin, he’s a man’s man, but not in a man-on-man way. I have nothing but respect for how he can govern a land of drunkards and fat widows with such an iron fist in a shirtless glove, especially taking into account how cold it can get.

If America had a Ronnie Reagan in power, or even one of the Bush boys, things’d be different. For one, we might all be dead already.

But if I may speak on behalf of the Western Hemisphere, death’s not the worst that can happen. And as much of an effort it is for me to stand up, I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees, since my knees are blown out.

Putin’s making Obama look like – well I gotta say like Obama, ’cause we never seen a president like this nut before. So if Vlad’s man enough to take back Crimea, and Barry doesn’t got the stones for mutually assured destruction, then the only honourable thing left for the free world to do is unconditional surrender. Anyhow, you gotta figure Russian’s easier for an adult to pick up as a second language than Chinese.

And Kim Novak. God love her for trying to make herself look good to fellas, but she should have waved the white flag after Falcon Crest. After a certain age a woman should be allowed to let herself go a little, so long as she don’t make a public spectacle of herself.

It may not be pretty, but it’s fair.

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2 comments on “CRIMEA RIVER, MR. OBAMA!
  1. OJM says:

    ♫ We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when…♫

  2. Buckwheat says:

    I say the Tatars should apologize and invite Dobbie out for dinner to kiss ‘n make up. Hey is that dioxin in my perogies, or are you just glad to see me (go)?

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