Remedial Media: While the Globe burns

Like a drunk at the wheel of a Zamboni, Philip Crawley goes ‘round in circles, trying to smooth things over, but the cracks in the Globe and Minion just won’t go away.

The Globe publisher’s latest attempt to save his embattled daily is to guillotine editor John Stackhouse, his former fair-haired boy, and replace him with the new great white hope (Irish, shurely?!—ed.) David Walmsley.

By all accounts, Walmsley will be everything Stackhouse wasn’t, in much the same way Stackhouse was everything Eddie Greenspon wasn’t.

Much loved during his previous tenure at the Globe, Walmsley is rated a terrific hard news man.
“This is such a great piece of news,” a braunnosing Globehead told Frank. “Walmsley is solid, easy going and he treats staff well. We all hope it’s a new day dawning—and about fucking time.”

Stackhouse became editor-in-chief in 2009 and won five NNAs. But he was widely disliked, even feared, as a humourless micro-manager—as evidenced by the recent exits of two key masthead players, Elena Cherney and Derek DeCloet (Franks passim).

A smooth political operator, Walmsley avoided their fate by leaving the Globe in 2012 for the CBC, after he realized that Stackhouse felt threatened and was gunning for him. It turned out to be a shrewd move because when he decided to fire Stackhouse, Crawley knew where to find his man.

Walmsley has long craved the Globe editorship and as far back as 2008 figured he could inflate his chances of landing the Globe gig by applying for the soon-to-be-vacant Ottawa Petfinder editorship.

Outgoing Petfinder uberdwarf Scott Anderson was on the selection committee auditioning candidates and straight shooter Walmsley took the opportunity to rip the paper for lame ass stories he considered “unworthy of the Pennysaver.”

A much-pissed Anderson bolted the room halfway through the interview after Walmsley singled out loopy right-wing columnist David “Slipper Boy” Warren as one of the many Petfinder fools he would jettison the moment he became editor-in-chief.

Now the guessing game begins re: the future of some of Stackhouse’s pets, chief among them Gabe Gonda, editor of arts and life. Gonad never heard a Stackhouse idea, however misguided, that he didn’t love. Alas, now, it seems, his braunnose was in a dead end.

Executive Editor Jill Borra and Public Editor Sylvia Stead both thrived under Stackhouse, but they will soon discover that Walmsley has what they lack–a sharp sense of humour and a willingness to call bullshit.

How that will go over at the Globe and Minion is anybody’s guess; it’s never been tried before.

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3 comments on “Remedial Media: While the Globe burns
  1. phargrav says:

    Oh, please, if there is a God, please let “Slipper Boy” Rabid Warren be given a forced career move, I mean a lengthy spell of unemployment. Maybe Rabbit Warren will learn that being one of the great unwashed and actually having to work for a living is tough. Please let him realize, 40 years’ too late, that working is something he’s never actually done, much as he might have previously believed it. Please let him realize that blurting out vague insults in his “columns” and then running for the hills, before anyone gets an idea of what he’s writing about, is not journalism. Please, when Rabid, in his his presumptive way, tries to muscle his way into heaven, let God say “I was only only joking all those years! Go to the back of line, you little shit!”

  2. mmedesevigne says:

    Ah, “Rabid” Warren, the Durward Kirby of what passes for journalism in Ottawa. The preposterous pseud with his carpet slippers and fake British accent. Kirby survived for decades on radio and television seemingly without a lick of talent. Similarly, Wornout survives endlessly at The Petfinder despite weekly proof that he is not a journalist.

  3. orphancarguy says:

    These two comments above have make this week all worthwhile!

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