Harper’s Pond Inlet handshake

Another sign of President Steve’s increasing desperation: He’s cribbing from Jean Crouton’s playbook.

Readers will recall how da liddle guy from Shawinigate put a chokehold on Bill Clennett when the tragically-touqued protester got in his way on a walkabout in February 1996.

Flash forward to Harper’s recent Northern Exposure tour, which took Mr. Warmth to Pond Inlet (pop. 1500), on the northern tip of Baffin Island.

As he disembarked from the air force Hercules, Harper took one look at the large crowd on hand to greet him and seized the opportunity to demonstrate the famous Harper people skills.

Harper rictus at Pond Inlet

Harper rictus at Pond Inlet

“Oh, we’ll have to do a photo op,” he said, gathering kids around him.

Then he moved into the crowd to glumhand with the rest of the locals. (Shaking hands is a significant gesture in the north. Even in minus-60 degree temperatures, northerners remove their gloves to shake hands.)

When Harper got to within a couple feet of local resident Tessa Lochhead, she demanded, “What are you doing about missing aboriginal women?”

Harper’s smile switched off as he snapped, “The police are working on it.”

As Harper stuck out his hand for a little pro forma, Lochhead, an elementary school teacher in Pond Inlet, pulled back, said, “No, thanks,” and turned her head away.

“Then I felt someone grab me, and push me out of the way,” she later told Frank.

“I thought it was someone else, then I realized it was the prime minister, grabbing me and shoving me aside,” she said. (Apparently, strangling her a la Crouton would be too much like interaction, and could result in eye contact.)

“He pushed me into the person beside me and they knocked into a security guard. People asked afterward, ‘Are you OK?’ and I said, ‘Yes. Why?’”

“’Because the prime minister just pushed you,’” they said.

Lochhead later did interviews with some of the captive hacks accompanying the Harper tour, but with insufficient corroboration and strong denials from the PMO, no media would touch the story.

So it’s Lochhead’s word vs. the PM’s, and here at the Frankland Capital Corp. decision desk, we’ve made our call.

Consider this: Why would Lochhead contrive such a tale?

And there might be video evidence to lend heft to Lochhead’s story. The Harper Push has been the talk of the town and Lochhead, much-respected in Pond Inlet, has friends.

One of them is the airport manager, who this week will review with Lochhead all the video shot by security cameras during Harper’s visit.

Zapruder it ain’t, but the footage may yet confirm the single bully theory.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUponEmail this to someone
One comment on “Harper’s Pond Inlet handshake
  1. Snake says:

    Bodyguards should keep the fearless savages away from our intrepid leader..onward!!

Leave a Reply