Latest Drivel for Sept. 16, 2014

Too bad Harper has such contempt for science
Stem cells can treat ‘stiff-person syndrome’
Globe and Mail, Aug. 28, 2014.

“‘My vagina is so dry, I took a bath and the water went, Whoosh!’ That was Byron’s!”
Mila Mulroney, wife of former prime minister Brian Mulroney, says they are mourning the loss of their longtime friend, Joan Rivers. She met Rivers more than 20 years ago through a mutual friend who had worked with the Reagan administration. The two hit it off, and continued to see each other at parties and events in both Canada and the United States—with Rivers even borrowing some of the prime minister’s lines for her acts.
—Canadian Press, Sept. 5, 2014.

Uh, can you direct us to an actual journalist, please?
As you may have guessed by now, I didn’t watch the Foley video or scan the Lawrence nude pics. I don’t want a medal for this, because it wasn’t difficult to resist—and I’m a person who writes about culture and current events, which means I could have made the argument (if only to myself) that I “needed” to look. But I didn’t need to look. Jennifer Lawrence had been violated, and poor James Foley had been brutally murdered.
—Leah McLaren, Globe and Mail, Sept. 13, 2014.

Hey, who you gonna believe, an oil industry shill like me, or the scientists who actually study these things?
In 67 years, there has never been a proven case of drinking water contamination from fracking.
—Ezra Levant, Sun Media, Sept. 7, 2014.

Fracking linked to well water methane
—USA Today, Jun. 24, 2013.

Drinking water contaminated by gas near fracking sites in US
—The Telegraph, Jun. 24, 2013.

EPA Connects ‘Fracking’ To Water Contamination
—npr.org, Dec. 8, 2011.

Hey, who you gonna believe, an oil industry shill quoting a Fraser Institute creationist, or the scientists who actually study these things?
According to Canadian [economist] Ross McKitrick…there has been no overall warming at the Earth’s surface since 1995. [T]he world’s temperatures have not been rising…. Despite continued cymbal-crashing from environmentalists and politicians who insist humankind is approaching a critical climate-change tipping point, there is no real evidence this is true.
—Lorne Gunter, Sun Media, Sept. 3, 2014.

McKitrick is a signatory to the Cornwall Alliance’s Evangelical Declaration on Global Warming, which states that “Earth and its ecosystems—created by God’s intelligent design and infinite power and sustained by His faithful providence—are robust, resilient, self-regulating, and self-correcting.”
—Wikipedia.org

The year 2013 ties with 2003 as the fourth warmest year globally since records began in 1880…. This marks the 37th consecutive year (since 1976) that the yearly global temperature was above average. Currently, the warmest year on record is 2010…. Including 2013, 9 of the 10 warmest years in the 134-year period of record have occurred in the 21st century.
—U.S. National Climatic Data Center, Annual Global Analysis, 2013.

Oh, well, case closed then
It’s true that Aboriginal women and girls are killed or disappear with greater frequency than non-Aboriginal women—nearly three times as much. But the “why” is not as much of a mystery as our chattering classes would have us believe. Most murdered or disappeared Aboriginal women are not the victims of some vast conservative conspiracy or of white racism…. Most killed or abused Aboriginal women are killed or abused by Aboriginal men —not callous white cops or violent white johns.
—More Gunter, Sun Media, Aug. 31, 2014.

Thank you, Norway!
Atwood’s next project due in 22nd century: Canadian is the first author chosen for Future Library, a project that will store manuscripts in Norway until they are published in 2114
—Globe and Mail, Sept. 6, 2014.

We’re with what’s-his-name on this one
[T]he authors will be permitted to share their work with a trusted editor or translator, but Ms. Atwood says she will do no such thing. “I’m not putting any trust in that. Everything leaks like a sieve,” says Ms. Atwood. She doesn’t even plan to divulge any details to her husband, the writer Graeme Gibson. “He wouldn’t be interested anyways….”
—Mark Medley, op. cit.

Call a vet…no, wait, call an agent!
Obvious Child is such an anomaly, such a shaggy and brave black sheep, that it’s hard not to embrace—especially when it’s got puffy red eyes and mucous all over its face chanting “love sucks.”
—Katherine Monk, Postmedia News, Aug. 29, 2014.

Kind of like living in Ontario
On the downside, Robespierre’s indie feature…has an indigenous pantsuit vibe, that self-conscious correctness of lesbian bookstores that makes you feel small beneath a mono-brow stare.
—Ibid.

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5 comments on “Latest Drivel for Sept. 16, 2014
  1. orphancarguy says:

    You’ve outdone yerself this time. That’s the drivelest drivel since the last international juried Drivelfest of 20-aught-bore. Err…well done! (I asked for as rare as possible)

  2. Buckwheat says:

    Ah, the modern Sun chain: if you can’t report the actual news, make it up. National Enquirer Lite for the common joe. Douggie Creighton’s probably squirming in his grave.

  3. turkish says:

    Ezra Levant–a brain-dead syphilitc who somehow contrives to peck out his little stories and actually get paid for it. I’ve heard rumours that he’s actually taken seriously by the lower orders. Amazing.

  4. Patrick60 says:

    I suppose denial was a big thing on the Titanic too. If only they had a separate planet to fuck up, rather than destroying ours…….

  5. portabletrading says:

    My late uncle Ted went to school in Chatham, New Brunswick with Byron, and is no doubt looking down and amused about Ben and the chandelier. (Franks passim.)

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