Strike talk and barbed wire are a distant memory at the Globe and Minion, but there’s still no shortage of paranoia, thanks to Phil “Creepy” Crawley’s non-stop scrutiny of the comings and goings of his wary flunkies.
The Globe publisher has his security forces—those morbidly obese gasbags on the main floor—under orders to keep a watchful eye on truant Globe hacks who might be guilty of “time theft.”
Earlier this year, a handful of typists on night shift, their work complete, were spotted leaving the building at 12:30 am, half an hour before they were officially off the clock.
This was all too much for the goose-steppers in HR and Stan Dellaroca, one of the paper’s best headline writers, got hauled up before the Star Chamber and reprimanded for “time theft.”
Ditto Betty Ann Track and Jim Phillips, who, although they took early buy-outs, still had letters of reprimand placed in their files prior to their departures.
Fast forward several months, to a recent town hall meeting, where management showered praise on the cost-cutting team that successfully trimmed $25 million from the editorial budget.
Of course, no one had the temerity to mention the steady increase in the daily incidence of copy cock-ups, grammar errors, typos and spelng mistakes, i.e., “University Grads See College Dimploma as Key to Jobs.”
It turns out that in order to save that $25 mil, the Globe had to axe most of its copy editors and proofreaders.
As the paper keeps hemorrhaging dough, doubtless the Thomsons will outsource even more work to the India ink-stained wretches of their giant Reuters newsroom in Bangalore.
Copywallahs are standing by.