Jian Ghomeshi: Cereal Abuser?

Among the honours and earners stripped from Jian Ghomeshi in autumn’s orgy of ostracism – bumped as host of the Gillers, dumped from the Polaris Music Prize jury, disavowed by his former bandmates in Moxy Fruvous — the bitterest loss of all may have been that of his eponymous cereal.

I speak of the delicious Jian’s Mix (shurely ‘Count Choke-ula’?!—ed.), the all-natural granola, featuring pistachios, dried cherries and pumpkin seeds, produced by Ottawa’s socially-conscious Siren Bakery.

Siren suprema Loreli Lees pulled the breakfast of Golden Gloves champions from store shelves in November when Ghomeshi was criminally charged.

As is sadly so often the case, there are repercussions for innocent parties, in this case a charity. Siren generously donated a dollar from the sale of each 300g bag of Jian’s Mix (Captain Punch?!—ed.), to the, er, Canadian Centre for Victims of Torture.

Siren, the CCTV and Ghomeshi announced their partnership in a joint release in June 2012:

“Canadians can start their day enjoying a bowl of Siren Bakery’s newest granola, Jian’s Mix, knowing that $1 from the sale of each bag is donated to CCVT to support programs that help refugees that have sought sanctuary in Canada and overcome the physical and psychological effects of torture and war.

“‘I’m very happy to be involved in this fun endeavor to raise money and awareness for CCVT, a charity I have actively supported for many years now,’ said Ghomeshi. ‘I should add that I am also a big fan of Siren Bakery’s premium granola. Once they promised to include pistachios in the mix that sealed the relationship,’ adds Ghomeshi, a known pistachio enthusiast.”

Siren, understandably eager to get the taste of Ghomeshi out of customers’ mouths, has just sealed a new charity partnership with Ottawa’s Parkdale United Church, donating a buck from each sale of their new café mocha creation to the church’s In From the Cold meal program.

Meanwhile, Lees plans to relaunch Jian’s Mix in the new year with the Persian Perv’s name redacted from packaging because, as she told Frank, “Everybody’s asking for it.”

That’s what he said!

 

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4 comments on “Jian Ghomeshi: Cereal Abuser?
  1. orphancarguy says:

    Witty indeed, pulling no punches.

  2. mimmo says:

    just redirect the money to victims of rough, consensual sex

  3. Kierkegaard says:

    Just add milk and smack, strangle, pop….

  4. Patrick60 says:

    Flakes eat flakes.

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