I Don’t Believe the Poles! Ukes Neither, Except for Gretzky!

Hard to believe it’s almost done. The Blue Jays playoffs, that is.

The election, I doubt it’s ever gonna end. But I’m okay with that, because it keeps Chantal Hebert busy, makin’ stuff up in his head.

That’s good for the brain, and I think he has a condition. Don’t always agree with him but I wish him well.

It’s like Winnie Churchill once said: democracy’s the worst form of drinking game there is except for all the others.

Don’t believe me, you try takin’ a shot every time somebody says “middle class.” If you’re a novice drinker you’ll be on your second liver before Liz May’s concession speech.

I took Canadian Club in my mother’s milk, so don’t worry about me. Though I do prefer it neat.

Anyway, whatever happens, I hope our Muslim friends let bygones be bygones.

And not just because they scare me to death. Us old-stock Tories ain’t getting’ any younger, or less bitter, and we probably need an influx of angry foreigners to replenish the Conservative gene pool.

Deep down, we share the same traditions of intolerance and men’s rights, and a Muslim with a grudge is a terrible thing to waste.

Besides, we can’t scapegoat the Arabs forever. It would get boring. Who knows? Next time it might be the Jews turn.

And how about that TPP? I don’t know what’s in it, why it is, or even what “TPP” means, but I’m all for it.

We’re a trading nation, just like the Leafs are a trading hockey team, and family dairy farms are our Phil Kessel.

Sure, it keeps pluggin’ away, meetin’ our minimum expectations (which keep shrinkin’ anyway because of the cuts to our health regulation red tape), but it’s hardly the clutch performer our economy needs today.

Pittsburgh must have something we want. Don’t they make steel there?

Or was that several trade pacts ago?

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2 comments on “I Don’t Believe the Poles! Ukes Neither, Except for Gretzky!
  1. daveS says:

    Love you Dick. Don’t ever change.

  2. OJM says:

    “I took Canadian Club in my mother’s milk…”

    That’s called a “Mamhattan”, yes?

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