Drivel for Mar. 9, 2016

That and remembering the difference between epanadiplosis and epanalepsis—now, that can really fuck with a girl’s head
What is the most challenging aspect of being a writer today?
Depends. If you’re not white, dealing with pretty constant racism is going to drive you fucking insane. If you’re a woman, it’s going to be dealing with garbage dudes in your newsrooms. Also, writers are inherently insane, so your brain is going to try to eat itself and tell you that you’re bad, all the time, forever.
—Scaachi Koul, Buzzfeed senior writer/author, interviewed by

Hey, same way Leo Tolstoy wrote that big book about Russia!
Scaachi Koul has a way with words. She yells at them and punches them in the arm and calls them a baby until they do what she wants. A sculptor whose clay is anger, she hollers “Don’t be a baby, you dumb words,” until honest, insightful, occasionally funny sentences are formed.
—Corey Mintz, author of How To Host A Dinner Party, on the Cooke Agency website.

Hey, same thing Leo Tolstoy should have done for that big book about Russia!
Barbara Kay is well known in Canada and beyond as a talented and courageous newspaper columnist.… Now she has branched out into a very different genre, publishing a 463-page mystery novel, A Three-Day Event, with 18 major and nine minor characters. (A list at the beginning of the book with short notes beside each name is meant to help readers keep them straight….) To help us cope with all the unusual and unfamiliar aspects of buying, selling, training and riding sport horses, Kay gives us a helpful three-page glossary.
—Martin Lockshin, Canadian Jewish News, Feb. 22, 2016.

Well, OK, maybe not David Copperfield, but how about that smart guy Ken who won all those times on Jeopardy? Maybe he can explain it
The polluters can still pollute as long as they buy more carbon credits. And if you are a company that does not pollute, you can profit by selling your unused carbon credits through a government-run auction, to those who do. How does this stop industrial carbon dioxide emissions linked to climate change? We may need David Copperfield to help explain it to the average person, who puts out their stupid green, blue and brown box of waste every week, knowing it’s not making a bit of difference to our environmental footprint.
—Joe Wormington, Toronto Sun, Feb. 24, 2016.

Yes, a cartoon vision of the future, where everyone has an Amex Black Card and the critical faculties of a six-year-old
Despite not having the flying cars and robot maids predicted by The Jetsons, the growing popularity of ingestible anti-aging products indicates we might be approaching that cartoon vision of the future faster than we think. Age Quencher Beauty System, a three-step ingestible anti-aging program launched in early February, promises to reduce fine lines, improve skin hydration and elasticity, and strengthen hair and nails from the inside out. And it will do it more effectively than scarfing blueberries and kale by the bushel. Created by Dr. Holly Fennell, a Toronto-based naturopath, and backed by company founders Belinda Stronach and Beverley Hammond, the system ($200 for a 30-day supply) comprises a vitamin supplement, an electrolyte powder and a protein concoction….
—Marilisa Racco, Globe and Mail, Feb. 27, 2016.

Fortunately, Slate, The Guardian and Us Magazine all did pieces on exactly the same topic, so you didn’t have to…
I don’t watch the Oscars. They’re cheesy yet pompous, tacky yet money-larded, and particularly brutal for women, both those nominated and those watching…. But the ceremony outdid itself this year….
—Heather Mallick, Toronto Star, Feb. 28, 2016.

On the other hand, if you had watched the Oscars, you might have seen McCarthy openly sharing a greeting and a smile with Beavan and her defeated competitor Iñárritu clapping, but that would have rendered the entire column pretty much pointless, wouldn’t it?
The treatment of British costume designer Jenny Beavan as she won her Oscar for Mad Max: Fury Road was profoundly awful. A series of men in the seats lining the long walk to the stage—important men are always given easy access—stared at her with open loathing, refusing to applaud. Spotlight director Tom McCarthy, 49, openly laughed at her. Best Director (The Revenant) Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, 52, drew his eyes up and down her entire body, looked repelled and kept his arms crossed.
—Mallick, op. cit.

Pretty much shame-free, all right
The lesson is clear: in the future we will wear whatever we find in the gutter and try to convey “I will hang your liver on my codpiece.” Well done, Beavan…. I always tell female student audiences, “Never underestimate how much you are hated….” Brains and talent won’t save you from ridicule. Hollywood views the world inside out, and it has no shame.
—Mallick, op. cit.

It’s not the knock of the law they fear…
Many of my readers fear the knock of the law on the door, I’m sure, and flee if they hear a siren. If life is a highway, you may ride it all night long, or you may turn onto a gravel Nebraska road and never leave. I’m an atheist.
—Heather Mallick, Toronto Star, Feb. 22, 2016.

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One comment on “Drivel for Mar. 9, 2016
  1. Trippetta says:

    If Heather is hated, it’s not because she’s a woman.

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