Dem Douchey Del Mastros

Mercifully little heard from my porky pal Dean Del Mastro, the formerly honourable member for Peterborough and convicted election fraudster.

Of course, Deano couldn’t resist weighing in on successor Maryam Monsef‘s (Lib.-Peterborough) foreign-shithole-of-origin controversy back in September. He averred on Facebook that he’d heard stories of her background-fudging for years, plus other dark secrets upon which he refused to elaborate when the Peterborough Examiner came sniffing about.

Instead, he offered a taste of that trademark self-pity so missed since he departed public life: “Maryam Monsef ran a campaign attacking my integrity,” he boo-hooed. Why, Mr. Speaker, why?



Since then, all’s been relatively quiet. No doubt the steatopygous elder statesman has been busy with his latest bid for reputational rehab, yet another appeal of his conviction on three Election Act violations dating back to the 2008 campaign, to wit: exceeding personal donation limit, exceeding his campaign spending limit, and falsifying documents to cover his tracks.

Of his June 2015 sentence (one month in pokey, four months house arrest), Deano has so far served a total of seven days, one upon sentencing and another six after his first appeal was hee-hawed out of court.

With no hearing date set and no end in sight on Dean’s current legal puck-ragging, which is, if nothing else, delaying his return to the slammer, the next Del Mastro on deck to sorely try the patience of the court is cousin David.

Dave-o, readers will recall, walked away a free man from his own trial on Election Act charges in May, with the Crown unable to convince the court he was the orchestrator of a prêt-nom scheme through which some 22 of his employees at Deltro Electric each spontaneously donated $1,000 to Dean’s ’08 campaign, then got a cheque from Deltro for $1,050, and pocketed the political tax rebates. Who perpetrated this elaborate frame job with David’s company and money? We may never know!

Improbably, when David spent a night behind bars last month, it stemmed from his fugly and protracted divorce battle with his ex, Chemayne Micallef Del Mastro, finally slated for trial in Brampton this coming January.

David and Chemayne’s last tango in family court was Nov. 7 before Superior Court Justice Thomas Bielby, who noted the case “has been identified as a high-conflict family court matter.”

No shit, your honour. The fun couple married Aug. 2, 2000, had a daughter, Vienna, and separated Aug. 6, 2008. They have been locked in this epic hair-pull ever since. (David even disputed the date of separation, arguing they’d split earlier, in November 2006. He lost that one in a 2012 decision and was ordered to eat over $190,000 in Chemayne’s costs.)



Payments have been, er, leisurely. David, seems to share his cousin’s insouciant attitude towards the “opinion” of the judiciary, as Deano so famously characterized his own guilty verdict.

“On review of the court file and the numerous judicial endorsements,” Justice Bielby writes in his Nov. 10 decision, “it is clear that the applicant has a history of non-compliance. There are support orders in arrears and there are cost orders outstanding. There is also an outstanding order for the sale of the matrimonial home and an order finding the applicant in contempt for failing to comply with the order to sell.”

Indeed, it was those tardy support payments that landed poor David in the slammer Oct. 27. Police popped him at the airport at the request of the dreaded Family Responsibility Office.

He was returning from Barbados, purported future home of Dean and David’s $26-million solar farm project, which was supposed to be up and running in April, but has run into unspecified, er, delays.

Inconvenienced by David’s 24 hours as a guest of the Queen, and a subsequent urgent bidness trip to Cuba the week after, David’s legalist, Catherine Willson (Goldman Sloan Nash and Haber LLP) requested an adjournment to get the paperwork in order. Denied:

“While the applicant could not control the timing of his arrest, his decision to travel out of the country likely had a lot to do with counsel’s inability to serve and file responding material. The applicant was aware of the timetable. Additionally, how could cross-examination take place as agreed when the applicant was out of the country?”

As for the the chronically tardy payments, David’s repeated claims of poverty and impending financial ruin have drawn few tears from the various learned justices on whom he’s essayed them.

In a September 2011 decision, Ontario Superior Court Justice Francine Van Melle wrote:

“David’s claim that he has no money is hard to believe in light of his lifestyle. According to Chemayne it is David who insists on keeping Vienna in private school. As well, in addition to the renovations to the matrimonial home, David travels extensively, owns several vehicles in addition to the Lamborghini, has had elective cosmetic surgery, co-owns the Oshawa Generals Junior A hockey club, has Toronto Maple Leafs season’s tickets and owns a yacht.

“He has also sent Chemayne a number of e-mails with the theme that she should get a job and that he will not pay her until she signs off on the house.”

Ah, the house. Van Melle ordered Del Mastro to sell the matrimonial pile, at 881 Sangster Avenue in Mississauga, in September 2011. It was valued in 2009 at about $2 million. In February 2012, he still hadn’t listed it and she found him in contempt of court. He listed it for six months, received no offers, took it back off the market, and squats there to this day. His contention that this half-assery was good enough to comply with the court order to actually sell is not shared by the court.

“The applicant submits through counsel that he has put a significant amount of money into the home and it is his intention to live there, until, in his counsel’s words, until he dies. He submits that the respondent will owe him a sizable amount on equalization which may exceed her equity in the home.”

Among David’s vital investments in the property since the split? An in-ground pool.

And it’s not only Chemayne claiming to be stiffed by David:

“The Canada Revenue Agency (‘CRA’) has placed a large lien against the property and claims from the applicant a substantial amount of tax arrears. From August 2015, until February 2016, the applicant was paying to the respondent by agreement, $15,000 per month against arrears. This arrangement ceased when the CRA started garnishing monies owed for taxes by the applicant.”

With the trial date coming up in January, Judge Bielby decided not to issue yet another order for David to sell, so long as he faithfully coughs up $12,350 to cover monthly support and arrears, plus $20,000 a month against legal costs he owes Chemayne, until a final judgment in the case, or the outstanding costs are actually paid, whichever comes first.

Frank is saddened to report that the War of the Del Mastros may have have also soured Chemayne on the Conservative Party of Canada.

On election day last year, she shared a composite image on Facebook of various Tories of Conviction™, prominently featuring her outlaw ex-in-law Dean.
“If Harper is defeated today, I wonder if RCMP will be guarding every paper shredder on Parliament Hill to make sure evidence isn’t destroyed as it was in Alberta,” she wrote.

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3 comments on “Dem Douchey Del Mastros
  1. Rosemary444 says:

    You have to be a special class of deadbeat dad asshole (she’s 16 now, come on down Ward Cleaver! —ed.) to get arrested via the FRO.

    David Reevely wrote on November 3, 2016 in the St. Catharines Standard about the FRO’s ‘enforcement arm’ slash ombuds-whatever:

    “Paul Dubé gave his first annual reckoning of what his office has been up to since he succeeded fiery ombudsman-turned-Tory-candidate André Marin last February. Unlike Marin, he lobbed no grenades, called out no particular bureaucrats. He’s much lower-key than his predecessor.”

    “As it often is, the Family Responsibility Office was the most-complained-about provincial agency in the past year… Dubé got 1,025 complaints about the Family Responsibility Office last year — 200 more than the Ontario Disability Support Program drew, and 400 more than he got about a huge jail in Lindsay and about Hydro One, two other perennial subjects.”

    And not to make any excuses for Deadbeat Del Mastro Dos Equis but the FRO *is* the same office assisting agencies such as the CAS in carrying out the ‘compassionate forfeiture’ of children to the state to access treatment. Hashtag fucked up.

    “And yet, another section of the report says, it’s been 10 years since an ombudsman’s report got the province to stop telling the parents of children with developmental disabilities and other mental problems to surrender custody to the state if they really wanted to get them treated — and it turns out parents still hear it from time to time. The ombudsman’s office heard about two cases this past year. Not a lot, but too many for something deemed totally unacceptable a decade ago.”

    And what of Monsieur Marin today in Vanier’s PCPO meat by-product by-election? T-minus no one gives a sh*t until the polls close. Almost 420 my time. Dinner table topic: Is there a bigger over-reach in the National Capital Region than André Marin? Discuss.

    I’ve no clue what to make of Marin’s circa 1990 online Google image cache after seeing him and @BrownBarrie in a braünnosey bromancy embrace in the TO Sun this morning. — He’s gained some er.. considerable campaign conflab.

    No doubt a stern result of noshing on the copious amounts of leftover cuisine from John “The Knife” Mykytyshyn’s ‘2016 McMaster University – Pray Away The Tiny Tory Brimley Beetus – Bash N’ Conference/Lobotomy Skool”.

    Baron Trump is 104.

  2. merklin muffley says:

    It never ceases to amaze me how it is that uncommonly good-looking people can get away with so much more than us ordinary looking schmucks.

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