Men don’t cry but if they did Canada would bore me to tears!

Damn, I’m gonna miss this U.S. election when it’s done, not to mention the U.S.

I was real sorry to see 80% of Canadians are afraid of Trump winnin’, because it reminded me I live here.

I swear, we’re the most pussified country, which is why back in 1812 President Madison made a grab for us.

And once the election’s done with and Americans go back to stockin’ up on ammo and canned goods, Canadians’ll go back to followin’ Canadian news, so expect the numbers askin’ for assisted dyin’ to skyrocket.

It’s like some Trudeau yoga mind trick has cast a spell of dim-witted tedium over the land.

Don’t believe me, you must be a fool or Jeffrey Simpson. (A smart fella, but so boring he missed his callin’ to tunnel subways.)

The big story is Quebec journalists gettin’ all ooh-la-la about bein’ under police surveillance? Seriously, what French hell is this?

It wasn’t that long ago that Quebec was a hotbed of opinions radically at odds with my own, so it’s reasonable that the cops might want to intimidate some sense into the place.

I remember a little thing called the War Measures Act. Best thing Daddy Trudeau ever brought in. Though that’s not sayin’ much, since he also brought in Katimavik and Barbra Streisand.

If only Justin would put down the bong and bring it back. I still wouldn’t vote for him, but I’d love to see the look on Chantal Hébert‘s face. Which would be a first.

Besides, if reporters don’t want to appear suspicious then they should stop spreadin’ reports in a foreign language, such as French. It makes ’em look like they’re tryin’ to hide somethin’ from the authorities.

Straighten up and fly right, Jacques.

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4 comments on “Men don’t cry but if they did Canada would bore me to tears!
  1. merklin muffley says:

    What???? A rosy-cheeked Dick in living colour? Chrissakes, the rest of us are paler than pablum this time of year from blood loss due to poppy pin pricks but Dick looks like he just made a withdrawal down at the Branch 30 blood bank. What gives eh? Besides, how the hell are we going to see things in Dick’s black-and-white when he looks like the NBC peacock?

    • OJM says:

      I have only seen those sort of rouged-up cheeks on sixty-something Amsterdam Red Light District prostitutes (don’t ask) and professionally dolled-up corpses. Are you doing a “Weekend At Bernie’s” on us, Franksters?

    • mmedesevigne says:

      Dick looks like a triumph of the embalmer’s art. (As Gore Vidal once said about Ronald Reagan.)

    • daveS says:

      I don’t wonder that Dick had his annual winter vacation in Florida, to watch exciting Donald Trump and Jeb Bush electoral rallies and to imbibe a better rye and coke.
      How was Hollywood, Florida for you Bosun Little? Not as many Frenchies there as in past years?

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