“Don’t make a fuckin’ maniac out of me!”

News that Paul Anka may perform* at Donald Trump’s inauguration Jan. 20 comes as no surprise to longtime fans of Canada’s most famous Las Vegian and the composer of “She’s Having My Baby.”

Anka and Trump have much in common, short-fingered ego maniacs with a taste for golden, er, accoutrements, public vulgarity and fake news.

In the matter of the latter, take Anka’s 2008 autobiography My Way, please.

In it, Anka describes his adventures with Michael Jackson, with whom he collaborated on Jackson’s posthumous hit single, “Love Never Felt So Good.”

“I remember thinking that he had an absolutely ruthless streak…I knew [this] kid was headed for trouble,” he wrote in My Way.

Anka claimed he could tell Jackson had “a fondness for kids; he was very childlike himself.”

“I saw him [in] Vegas, when he stayed at a villa next door to mine at the Mirage hotel.

“And I’m afraid I was a witness to the parade of kids going in and out. Scary.”

Yet, Anka let his own daughters hang out with Jackson. “I’d often see him playing with my daughters in the Jacuzzi,” he wrote.

Then there’s Anka’s infamous backstage Vegas rant of the mid-eighties, in which, in true Trumpian fashion, he ripped new ones for the hapless members of his band.

Highlights:

“No t-shirts on stage. Y’understand that? You’re on fuckin’ notice, John. The guys get shirts. Don’t make a fucking maniac out of me. The guys get shirts. D’ya understand?

“That’s just the fuckin’ way it is!

(“Where’s Joe?”)

“We’re not going to be as strong as our weakest link! The guys get shirts. Y’understand that?!
“That’s just the fuckin.’ Way. It. Is!

“There is a lot of loose shit going on and I’m telling you, you guys are on thin ice. All right? I’m telling you right now.

“And when I fucking move, I slice like a fucking hammer.

(“Where’s Joe?)

“I will not put up with this shit. That’s just the fuckin.’ Way. It is!

“I’m warning you, I’m the only important one on that stage. D’ya understand that?

“If you don’t do the job, you’re gone. And that’s Just. The. Fucking. Way. It is!

(“Where’s Joe?”)

Full performance at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfp7v3ZtPW8

*As of 12:30 Jan. 13, Anka was backtracking on his plans to sing “My Way” at the inauguration.

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7 comments on ““Don’t make a fuckin’ maniac out of me!”
  1. Rosemary444 says:

    Holy shit. I think I might be related this guy!

  2. stagetek says:

    Pretty tame compared to some backstage rants i’ve seen; just sayin’. Marilyn Horn and Rudolph Nureyev come to mind, and then there’s the rock bands….

  3. hobo says:

    What a washed up/has been/Canadian douche!
    Time for him to go back where he came from and take Beiber
    with him for companionship.
    It figures that this egotistical idiot would perform/re-write for Trump.

  4. Nete Peedham says:

    Having being at both with situations like reading the riot act to subordinates, terms like, “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice” are not unusual.

    By the way…Ray Charles performed at Ronald Reagan’s 2nd inauguration.

    “Having My Baby”? Wanna put a bag over my head.

  5. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    Don’t dis “My Way.” It’s the male narcissist’s anthem. Maybe Trump will hire a cover band to play it.

  6. Rosemary444 says:

    Wee Willie Winkie
    Runs through DC town
    Upstairs downstairs
    Inauguration night-gown

    Tapping at the window
    Crying at the lock
    Are the stars in their bed?
    It’s not past ten o’clock!

    Hey, Willie Winkie
    You’re not coming in
    Stars purr acceptance
    To their commerce-poli-kin

    Sanders passed out on the floor
    He doesn’t give a cheep
    Maybe Ring Hulk Hogan?
    He doesn’t fall asleep

    Weary is the mother
    Who has a dusty child
    He cannot find a party crooner
    So few he has defiled

    A small short little child
    Who can’t run on his own
    The waft of lies from his rosy lips
    Feels like being blown

    Anything but sleep you rogue
    Twittering at the moon
    Golden shower, golden jug
    With a silver spoon

    Rumbling tumbling round about
    Crowing like a cock
    Shrieking like I don’t know
    A TrumpUrine™-soaked Russian hooker?

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