Lord Tubby of Fleet Mega Drivel, Monday, Mar. 13, 2017

On the other hand, with more than 99 per cent already in your corner, it hardly seems worth the effort
Not one per cent of Canadians has any problem with Muslims and anyone else having and practicing their religion and cultural traditions, as long as they are not an affront to the laws of this country. Islamophobia, in the sense of a visceral dislike of everyone who is a Muslim, is “infinitesimally small” in this country. But those who seek greater respect for Islam have to earn it….
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, National Post, Feb. 25, 2017.

It’s what’s made The Diary of Anne Shirley such an enduring classic
[T]he Christian world is accustomed to the sometimes unjust brickbats of agitated minorities, but attempting to lay at the door of Christianity the responsibility for the Holocaust is beyond reasonable expectations of toleration. The Holocaust, which if defined as all those who died in Nazi death camps, included six million Jews and six million non-Jews, and was perpetrated by the Nazi leadership which was as hostile to Christianity as to Jewry, persecuted Christian principles with the same satanic fervour that it attempted to extirpate Judaism.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, op. cit.

Well-known philo-Semite less-known as locaphobe
My status as a philo-Semite is well-known, including by every leader of Israel starting with Menachem Begin, but that status, which I wear proudly, does not obligate me to endure in silence collective libels on my co-religionists and my heritage, and particularly not from a local academic….
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, op. cit.

It’s called Newton’s third law
The frenzy of the Never Trump movement becomes more demented every week.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, National Review, Mar. 7, 2017.

It’s called Newt’s first law
There is absolutely nothing to the Russian story. [But] his accusation that Obama tapped his telephones is presumably based on something.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, op. cit.

Now that‘s comedy!
It all reminds me of an episode in the 1960s sitcom Car 54, Where Are You? about two New York policemen, in which one perpetrated an April Fool’s joke that his precinct sergeant took seriously and reported to the chief of police, and before the day was out, the chief, the mayor, the governor of New York, and the president had all taken to the airwaves to reassure the city, state, and nation that the problem was under control.
Conrad, Lord Tubby, op. cit.

Code Black! Code Black! His Lordship has jettisoned too many names and floated away again!
…James Clapper … Chuck Todd …. Chris Coons … Chris Wallace … Trump and Putin … Elizabeth Warren … Jeff Sessions … Chuck Schumer … the Russian ambassador … Nancy Pelosi … even Bob Woodward … Rubio, McCain, Graham, and Paul … LBJ … Noah … the Clintons … Gorsuch … Pius XII … David Brooks … Hitler and Putin … Nietzsche … Richelieu and Bismarck … Abraham Lincoln … God … Donald Trump….
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, op. cit.

Fuck that, give us Mar-a-Lago
Mr. Trump could legalize marijuana and concentrate on more dangerous drugs, and pay for increased constabulary costs by releasing most of the country’s non-violent prison inmates and transferring them to a system of contributed work, Spartan living, and careful monitoring. The vacated prisons and jails could be cleaned up and repurposed as assisted housing for slum-dwellers.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, New York Sun, Feb. 28, 2017.

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3 comments on “Lord Tubby of Fleet Mega Drivel, Monday, Mar. 13, 2017
  1. Papadoc says:

    Lord Tubs watched Car 54??

    • John MacLachlan Gray says:

      The Car 54 reference is telling, as is the shrinking vocabulary, the
      desperate religiosity and the retro-Victorian solutions for crime & poverty.
      The man’s mind is erasing itself, front to back. Soon he’ll be writing nothing
      but adjectives.

  2. Rosemary444 says:

    John MacLachlan Gray nails the #2017Tubby nut graf! Well done, SIR!

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