It’s cryin’ time again for Lowell Green.
The ex-CFRA blowhard’s latest doorstop just rolled off the presses and already he’s whinging about being the victim of the most heinous repression since that pinko poofter Pierre Trudeau invoked the War Measures Act.
“A complaint has been launched against my book Amazing But True: 150 Fascinating Stories About Canada, [and] some Chapters stores have already begun to remove the books from the shelves entirely. Was I targeted because I am a well-known conservative voice writing about 150 fascinating years,” he fulminated on Facebook.
“What I fear is that this complaint has to do with cultural appropriation. One [of my] stories tells how aboriginals across much of Canada recognized the same great spirit Manitou. I am non-aboriginal. Could it be that someone believes I should not be able to talk about Aboriginals. I don’t know but what else could it be.”
Cue Lowell’s loyal public:
Jeff Stoddard: History has shown us that the next step in this descencions [sic] will be book burning then burning of people. Don’t think it will happen?
Like their Trumpian brethren, Lowell’s acolytes happily swallow their hero’s most outrageous nosestretchers:
As Canada’s “most honoured broadcaster” he’s claimed to have won numerous industry honorifics and prizes, including the “coveted” Helen Keller Award. (Oddly, an exhaustive search of every database known to man revealed no mention of Lowell and the Keller award. José Feliciano, Ronnie Milsap, The Blind Boys of Alabama, yes. But Lowell? Er, neither seen nor heard.)
He’s also maintained at various moments that he had a wing at an Ottawa Hospital named in his honour, that one of his books had outsold the Harry Potter series in Eastern Ontario, that the City of Ottawa named a day after him and that one of his countless investigative scoops (!) “prompted a special Senate Commission investigation in the United States“ (UFOs shurely!?—ed.)
And who can forget the time Lowell was working on a sequel to his 2009 espionage thriller, Hoodwinked: The Spy Who Didn’t Die. (Amazon reviews: “Terrible.” “Barely readable.” “Awful.”)
But the sequel came to naught after Lowell’s laptop went missing, leaving him raving on-air about left-wing radicals stealing his precious research, and his supporters muttering darkly about CSIS black ops, trying to hide The Truth.
Frank would never suggest that Lowell’s latest trumped up censorship claims were merely a lame-ass ploy to manufacture outrage and fluff sales.
But a call to Chapters HQ by the satirical press revealed that his book was never ordered off the shelves and it’s been available—uninterrupted–to anyone with a drool cup at Chapters’ online store since April 30.
Whatever can it all mean?