Wilfrid Rides Again!

The rehabilitation of James Moore, it seems, will be fast-tracked, as the former Tory cabmin once again answers the call of public service.

He joins the Liberals’ NAFTA advisory quango, along with fellow surplus Tory Rona Ambrose, NDP also-ran Brian Topp, AFN Big Chief Perry Bellegarde, CLC prez Hassan Yussuff, Linimar Corp’s Linda Hasenfratz, etc, etc.

Added to his advisory responsibilities at law firm Dentons and weasel farm Edelson, plus his duties as Chancellor of the University of Northern BC, it’s rather a full dance card for the supremely devoted family man, who announced his departure from politics in June 2015 for the siren song of domestic life with wife Courtney and their special needs son.

Mercifully, already forgotten are the circumstances of Moore’s abrupt Freedom 39 retirement, when randy sexts between Hill staffer Vanessa Schneider and her pseudonymous playmate “Wilfrid” found their way from her Blackberry to the satirical press that spring (Frank 37).

“We haven’t had sex since Christmas,” Vanessa pleaded, inviting Wifrid to “Ride me til you cum!”

“Next event we should rent a room at the Chateau, fake an uegent [sic] phone call, and go upstairs and fuck each others’ brains out,” read another missive.

Who was Wilfrid? According to Vanessa’s contact list:

James Moore
BBMessenger Handle: “Wilfrid”
BBM Pin: 75B6C97E

Moore, caught hairy-handed, started making himself scarce, cancelling appearances and claiming through intermediaries that the overheated exchanges had nothing to do with him, and had been between Schneider and her boyfriend — which might have been a more convincing explanation if she’d, er, had one.

Schneider coincidentally left Ottawa as the shitstorm gathered, landing in the office of Andrew Wilkinson’s, the BC Liberals Minister of Advanced Education. As luck would have it, Moore’s appointment as chancellor to UNBC also came courtesy of Wilkinson.

Now where was I? Oh, yes, and yet the story refused to die, stoked on social media with the hashtag #RideMeWilfred and joyfully bruited about by Tory leadership rival Jason Kenney‘s gang of goniffs. Poor Jimbo was toast.

The 41-year-old elder statesman’s return to grace strikes some observers as near-miraculous, given the dim view our feminist PM takes of any whiff of horizontal shenanigans (just ask former Liberal caucusmen Scott Andrews, Massimo Pacetti and Hunter Twotimes).

But with ill protectionist winds blowing south of the border, now is the time for all good stickmen to ride to the aid of the nation.

Welcome back, your wet dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back, to the same old place you were laughed about.

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One comment on “Wilfrid Rides Again!
  1. howellmr says:

    The new NAFTA negotiations must be doomed from the start because the Liberals want to share the blame with other parties. Mind you, Rona Ambrose must know a thing or two about softwood lumber.

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