Toronto Star: Meat is Murder (at these prices!)

Not only was the steakhouse shooting of real estate broker/broadcaster Simon Giannini at Michael’s on Simcoe Saturday night a bloody trauma for a dining-roomful of horrified witnesses, it was an ill-timed tragedy for the weekend shift at the Toronto Star.

“Witness at Toronto restaurant feared gunshots were terror attack,” howled the headline of a pisse-pauvre effort by the Tsar‘s available dream team of, er, TV columnist Tony Wong and features typist Mary Ormsby, based on an interview with bystander James Fong:

“Events in London and Paris, where terrorists have attacked random victims, sprang foremost to mind. Could this be terrorism?”

Spoiler: No. Police were already describing the killing, in which the gunman walked up to Giannini’s table, whacked him and fled, as, well, “probably targeted.”

Fong, readers further learned, had taken his son and a friend out for steaks that fateful night. So enough about the terrorists, how about that grub?

“The three had arrived at 6:30 p.m. They had dined on 24-ounce bone-in dry rib-eye steaks at $98 each, and around 9 p.m. they were starting on a fruit sorbet. Even at that price, they were far from being the high rollers that night. The restaurant sells a 16-ounce Kobe striploin for $768. Garlic mashed potatoes with all the fixings is $20 more.

“‘The food was excellent, the atmosphere was great,’ Fong said.

“And then the gunshots.”

It’s always something, isn’t it?

A similarly understaffed National Post also drooled for another inch, please, over Michael Dabic‘s joint in an un-bylined CP rewrite:

“Michael’s website features a gallery of Hollywood stars who have visited, including Will Smith, Julianne Moore, Morgan Freeman, Diane Keaton, Colin Firth and Hugh Jackman.

“Its main course beef menu ranges from a six-ounce Ontario Black Angus steak for $36, to two 16-ounce Japanese Kobe beef offerings, at $768 each.”

Though seized with their investigation of the menu, the Star’s Wongward and Ormsbystein still had room for a quick sketch of poor Giannini’s background — broker at Royal LePage Signature Realty, father of two, separated from the wife, whom they neglected to identify as a public figure in her own right.

That’d be Cozette Giannini, the accounting-averse failed 2014 city council candidate and outreach director for Patrick Brown‘s Ontario PC leadership campaign, last seen making an unsuccessful insider grab for the party nomination in Scarborough Agincourt.

But what’s that got to do with the price of Kobe beef in the Entertainment District?

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3 comments on “Toronto Star: Meat is Murder (at these prices!)
  1. OJM says:

    Whatever happened to “apparent gangland slaying”? Easily one of the most beautiful phrases in English.

  2. gormab says:

    “Sprang foremost to mind”!?

  3. Papadoc says:

    It appears to me nothing more than a terrific publicity promo orchestrated by Michael’s. Too darned bad about the dead guy, but business is business.

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