I hear it’s never too late to start plannin’ for retirement, and seein’ how mine began in the Pearson years that sure comes as sweet relief.
But buddy, it sure is hard to plan for tomorrow when we could be tradin’ nukes with the Norks by nightfall, here’s hopin’.
The Poindexters on the Home Shoppin’ Network say we oughta diversify our portfolios. Well that’s easier said than done when I don’t know what a portfolio is anymore now than when I mortgaged the house to snap up Bre-X shares.
But now the house is nearly paid off again, I need to think how I can put my money to work for me, instead of loafin’ around the bank vault like some lazy no account.
I’m leanin’ towards the Bitcoin.
Heard of it? It’s like money, only even more imaginary. Ya might figure that’d be a strike against it, but that just shows ya don’t have a head for finance.
Any fool can see there’s no future in paper money. First the dollar bill went, and then the two dollar. Coins are the next big thing. Bitcoins!
It’s goin’ through the roof right now, so I read in the paper. Not a real paper, but still. And not a real roof, neither.
I don’t know how it works but I’ll be dead before I figure it out, and what’s the good of that? It may be called a cryptocurrency but I don’t think it’d be worth much to me in the crypt.
Of course I’m not that schooled in the scriptures, so it’s best to be prepared for anythin’. Whatever happens after I’m dead the important lesson is I need to buy Bitcoins in the here and now, never mind the where or why.
I hear ya can even mine ’em. Naturally after the Bre-X monkeyshines I’m leery about jumpin’ back in the minin’ game, but this is a sure thing we’re talkin’ about, whatever it is.