The Twidiocy: Manny Montenegrino

Laws severely interpreted and applied to Conservatives:
1. Michael Sona – young volunteer- minor Elections violation- JAIL
2. Dean Del Mastro – using $20K of OWN money – minor violation – JAIL
3. Senator Duffy -minor expenses – 33 Criminal Charges.
Liberals. Nothing.

–Manny Montenegrino, @manny_ottawa, Dec. 23, 2017.

There’s one glaring omission from that list of Tory delinquents: A chap by the name of, er, Manny Montenegrino. We can only presume that modesty prevented Manny from mentioning the shameful persecution he suffered in 2008.

In the event, the coruscating legalist was hauled up before the Law Society of Upper Canada discipline committee for his creative billings to the City of Ottawa.

Manny claimed he’d been supervising junior lawyers at his firm, Lang Michener, to ensure the work was actually done. But his colleague, Daniel Leduc, testified that the “internal meetings” had actually never occurred. Manny billed the city anyway, to the tune of $24,525.

For years, Manny dined out on the fact he once represented Steve Harper in a minor civil suit. But when his bogus billings caper came to light, Manny shut his cake hole.

“I did not want the media there [at his LSUC hearings] every day, misreporting things, because the media tend to do that,” he told the Law Times in ’08. “I know that the story is the prime minister. When I get a parking violation, it’s the prime minister’s lawyer that got a parking violation. I understand, and everyone’s having a field day on it.”

At his hearing, Manny essayed the classic “blame-the-secretary” line, the same defence later deployed, with greater success, by the aforementioned M. Duffy.

According to Manny, it was all the fault of his assistant for not being on the job because she had cancer. If he was guilty of anything it was being too easy on her in her time of trouble.

“My thinking was that I did not want her in her dying bed to think that I replaced her, to affect her morale, so I used another secretary that I wasn’t accustomed to,” hence the billing “mix-up.”

Despite his manifest innocence, LSUC dealt Manny a two-month suspension and a $5K fine.

These days Manny wiles away his retirement on the golf course and foaming on Twitter about the Liberal menace.

Alas, 72,900 tweets later, Manny has a mere 10,200 bots (dedicated followers, shurely?!—ed.) for a Frank Futility Index rating of .139, worse even than former journalist Joe Wormington–(that’s enough Tory twats!–ed.)

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One comment on “The Twidiocy: Manny Montenegrino
  1. Alan Smithee says:

    A little blue bird tells me Michael Sona may have a book coming out in the spring of 2019. Just in time for Andrew Scheer to come down with The Lesbian Cardigan Drama Headache™. This timing though, gives one pause. Coincidence of conspiracy?

    Should be an interesting ride through the inner machinations of the PCPO and their erstwhile Little Shits™ youth recruiting (League of Lying Assholes shurely!–ed) aka Ontario Progressive Conservative Youth Association.

    Early drafts (allegedly!) contain an unsurprising anecdote involving Ottawa news re-tread Glen “Charlie McCarthy” McGregor. During the height of the Robocall clusterfuck he dialed up Sona’s elderly pastor father, most likely on his Joel Osteen Whisper2000, and when the good padre mistook the sleazebag journo for a “Glen” in his congregation he unloaded the next day’s hedder. (Sona’s suicide attempt 18 months prior.) Like a greased-up, skin-shedding, Jon Kay wannabe, McScruples went right to press with his score. How could he not? It was real NEWZZZZ! (Btw, stories like this are why the general John Q. could give two flying fucks your industry in is freefall.)

    Where was I?

    Meanwhile, in the animal branding heartland of Canada, the real culprit (and Pierre Poutine mastermind) Andrew Prescott fucked off to Alberta (via Thailand until the cheese curds settled) to become a Jason Kenney fluffer. Prescunt is currently drinking Ezra Levant’s bathwater on Twitter as @ChristianConsrv. He’s “born again” now – so you know all is forgiven, right? Riiiight?

    No doubt the band of Little Shits™ that testified against the accused were ably counselled by Tory legalist truth massagers to tell the “whole troot an’ nuttin’ but da troot”, so help you Harper, bien sûr!”

    Sona was in Aruba when the “conversations” admitting his guilt allegedly transpired. I cannot profess any semblance of mathematical aptitude but something about this entire smelly caper just isn’t adding up. If you tally the loose lips of boozing Tory youth + six years to the power of lowered guard + the insatiable (and easily malleable) Tory ego (just show ‘em your tits!) + the wonder of iPhone Voice Memo + cosign tangent Casio, and well bingo-bango-bongo, you’ve got yourself a bestseller. Can an inquiry be far behind? The young and perjurious (allegedly) Little Shit™ Tories best start getting their recollections recollected.

    George “Arthur” Hamilton is 104.

    •••••
    I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole and then I followed it in
    I watched myself crawling out as I was a-crawling in
    I got up so tight I couldn’t unwind
    I saw so much I broke my mind
    I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
    —Mickey Newbury (Sony/ATV Music)

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