Wankers We Have Known: The Nutting Professor

Yes, he’s actually serious. And no, he won’t call you Shurley. In 2017, “public intellectual” became just another hanky-spanky euphemism as one pronoun-persecuted perfessor chapped the self-pleasure principle itself and came out on top as Frank’s Wanker of the Year.

The competition was stiff as U of T celebrity prof Jordan B. Peterson faced a field of fappers all too well-versed in the art of turning a harmless, solitary and carbon-neutral pastime into something gross. Throughout the ensuing year, the tireless Saltpetreson never missed a stroke, but can he pull off a twofer this year? Next issue, grab a tissue for…


Vote today at https://frankmag.ca/wanker

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3 comments on “Wankers We Have Known: The Nutting Professor
  1. Mbourrie says:

    Judging by where the link takes you, this is rigged.

  2. OJM says:

    As I’ve demonstrated at length, Peterson cannot be Wanker of the Year. Insufferable Mountebank of the Year? Yes, of course. Grasping Reactionary Tool of the Year? Very probably. But as long as Mr. Rex Murphy draws breathe and can still jig his squid he shall remain Lord of the Wank.

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