The Passion of the Cornhole

An early leader for worst mental image of 2018, as Michael Coren hustled to catch up with the #MeToo tumbrels in the Toronto Star:

“Three weeks ago I received a telephone call from a woman I’d worked with some years earlier. We’d drifted apart politically, and hadn’t spoken in some time. She explained, kindly, that a freelance journalist she’d never heard of had written to her claiming that someone had told him that I’d acted in a sexually inappropriate manner when I worked at Sun News, the now defunct television station.

“If he could confirm this with three people, he continued, he would take it to the media. My former colleague replied that she’d known me since she was 19-years-old, and that this was completely untrue and a ludicrous suggestion.

“Shortly afterwards I discovered a second former co-worker had been approached, and she too had completely dismissed the gossip. It’s likely that other women have also been contacted, and I assume that they reacted similarly. Because while I have been far from perfect, I have never been even close to guilty of this accusation. It was, I suppose, a fishing expedition, or a nasty smear initiated by an enemy.”

Nasty smears, he’s had a few, but our Cornhole, despite wild oscillations of conviction (once a Jew, twice a Catholic, ex-evangelical Christian, Anglican at press time) has always maintained the highest standards of prudery.

When Senator Patrick Brazeau, on a time-out from the Udder Place, landed a job as manager of an Ottawa titty bar, ol’ Suedehead, atop his Sun bully pulpit, decried “pathetic and lascivious men coming out of the sunshine.”

“How ironic it is,” quoth the Coren, “that venues where no gentleman would ever tread are known invariably as gentlemen’s clubs.”

Shurely this could not be the same Michael Coren who used to take his review copies of books to second-hand video shops on Yonge Street, where he’d swap them for adult entertainments, among them the classic porn flick, Anal Intruders? Alas, it is he.

 

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2 comments on “The Passion of the Cornhole
  1. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    Spit up my beer at the “#meToo tumbrels”.

    Maybe the witness thought it was sexual harassment because she mistook his head for a dick.

  2. Patrick60 says:

    Sounds like a bum rap to me.

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