On The Bright Side At Least The Arctic’s Melting!

I tell ya, some mornings I bet the President must think he got up on the wrong side of a porn star’s bed.

This Stormy Daniels business don’t seem to be goin’ away, even if none of it’s real, because I don’t think I’ve even seen one of her pictures. And I seen a few “adult” titles, trust me. I wouldn’t lie about such a thing, not on International Ladies Day!

And if he was guilty of somethin’, like bein’ a normal man for godsakes, doncha figure ol’ Trumpy would just sprinkle a little polonium on her endive salad? That’s what Joe Putin would do, and they’re supposed to be in cahoots, accordin’ to CNN. So he must be innocent!

Anyhow, politics makes an awful sight these days. Mr. Trump gets trashed nonstop just like Robbie Ford used to, God rest his damned soul.

Makes ya wonder why billionaires put themselves through the misery of rewritin’ all the rulebooks of what’s against the law. What’s in it for them? Nothin’ but a load of grief, brother.

Naturally, us poor cousins on the wrong side of the 49th Parallelogram can only afford to elect millionaires.

And it’s a helluva time for Canada to be run by a gaggle of semi-rich, full-on idiots, what with the Arctic melt openin’ up the north for business wider than Stormy Whatever is alleged to have spread her legs. (And if the allegations about Mr. Trump’s dick size are true, even if they did the deed she coulda still kept her knees together.)

This is a once in a maybe 60 million years business opportunity, folks! And it’s just our dumb luck that it happens with the Liberals in power.

Just a few years – hell, weeks – ago, I didn’t figure I’d live to see the Northwest Passage open.

Now I’m thinkin’ I might be able to buy a nice cottage outside of Iqaluit to watch the tankers do the dirty.

What a time of the day to still be alive!

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