Whatever became of…Gord Hoddinott? From the yellowed pages of Frank, Jan. 24, 2001:
Meet Gord Hoddinott, Prussian supremo of Campbell Ford, where the customer comes first and shagging is Job One.
A familiar face around Ottawa, the sleek Gordo attended Ashbury College and Cartoon U. in the eighties, but was always destined to take over daddy’s lucrative car business. (Campbell Ford ranks in the top five in sales among Ford dealerships in Canada.)
Although a champion of family values, Gordo has developed a reputation as a chaser of skirts, much to the dismay of his long-suffering wife, Terri.
In a recent appearance in the Ottawa Petfinder, Terri revealed herself as an incurable romantic, opining that her ultimate Christmas wish included a vacation journey to a “sunny warm destination. For those who have sweeties, I guess they would want to be included in that trip,” she added, mysteriously.
Turns out Terri’s cryptic remarks about “sweeties” was in reference to Gordo’s famous misadventure in phone sex:
A few weeks ago, Gordo was scheduled to return to Ottawa after a Toronto business trip. But “something came up,” so he called Terri from his hotel room to tell her he’d been “detained” and wouldn’t be returning home that evening as planned.
Then Gordo rang off and turned his attentions to his lusty legover companion, whose name escapes me.
Alas, in his haste to return to the business at hand, Gordo rolled over on his mobile phone, depressing the speed dial to his home number.
Terri picked up and listened in on the 15-minutes of huffing and fluffing emanating from Gordo and his eager bedmate.
With the conclusion of their performance, Terri hung up, then called back to inform a horrified Gordo that she had heard the entire blow-by-blow in graphic detail. Call your lawyer.
Gord hastened back to Ottawa, but, too little, too late. Terri had already installed a new set of locks at the matrimonial homestead. Gordo was last seen pleading at the front door, desperate to worm his way back in.
Of course, Terri should have seen that coming, since Gordo has always been a chip off the ol’ schlock.
Years before, his pater, Wilf, had hired a comely 22-year-old gardener to spruce up the family summer mansion near Rideau Ferry.
Ms. X did such a bang-up job that Wilf’s wife suggested that he employ the talented weed whacker full-time, and even proposed they buy her a truck
Well, you know where this was going. One thing led to another and within months, Wilf and the gardener piled into the truck and scarpered.
PS: Today, some 17 years later, Gord’s still top dog at Campbell Ford and Terri’s a charity volunteer and fund-raiser in Ottawa.