Black Lies Flatter: Triumph of a Tubby-thumper

Frank felicitations to illustrious Illinois jurist Amy St. Eve, confirmed to the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals by, so rarely for a Donald Trump nominee, a unanimous bipartisan vote.

How mischievous, if typical, of Der Donald to torture his faithful sycophant and hagiographer, Tubby Black!

It was Judge Amy, after all, who conferred upon Tubby the honorific of inmate number 18330-424, consigning him to 6 1/2 years in the stoney lonesome for fraud and obstruction of justice (he served 3 1/2 on appeal).

St. Eve

“I frankly cannot understand how someone of your stature, at the top of the media empire, could engage in the conduct you engaged in and put everything at risk,” St. Eve told Tubby. “No one is above the law. No one is immune. And that, Mr Black, includes you.”

These words no doubt echo mockingly in Black’s noble noggin as he assiduously spit-polishes Trump’s flabby ass. He has reverentially invoked Trump’s name 525 times in his columns since 2016 in his quest for the one thing that would gainsay the learned judge’s pronouncement: A presidential pardon.

With a stroke of the pen, Trump could wipe clean Tubby’s fraud conviction, that stain on his reputation about which he whinges endlessly; the “barbarity” of the American justice system and how it done him wrong.

And yet here’s Donald, who so kindly visited him during his captivity in Coleman, and was himself once admonished by Judge St.. Eve to STFU,  elevating her to the appeals bench!

Trump’s penchant for humiliating his supplicants is well-known, and would have itself been ample reason for the preferment of St. Eve, never mind her valiant attempts to lock up Crooked Hillary as an apparatchik on Ken Starr‘s Whitewater investigation.

Judge Amy’s sans-bullshit ways made her a media darling during Tubby’s trial. Tom Bower, the longtime Black antagonist, was among the admirers buttering her honour’s toast in the Guardian:

Barbara‘s appearances in court always excite interest, not least about her clothes – elegant and modest – and her affection towards Conrad. Often they leave the courtroom holding hands, defying those who mischievously speculate that she won’t hang around if he ends up in a dungeon. Equally tantalising is the appearance of her name and signature on documents as a company director who approved the alleged frauds…

“Barbara won’t be disappointed if I declare that she is not the most important woman in the court. Amy St Eve, I must confess, is the most attractive, intelligent, amusing, efficient, decisive and focused judge I have ever encountered. The 41-year-old mother of three shames every British judge, including m’learned friends I drink with at the Garrick. Despite the complications of a massive indictment and the increasingly acrimonious relations among about 30 lawyers, she defuses anger with wit and passes constant judgment on innumerable objections with awesome sagacity.”

Bower himself felt her power, as the New York Post’s Janet Whitman reported from the trial:

“Bower was asked to stop talking by the marshal, a retired cop who feared the wrath of 5-foot Judge Amy St. Eve. The judge insists on quiet in the gallery when she’s on the bench.

“When Bower protested, saying he hadn’t opened his mouth, the marshal kicked him out and said he could spend the rest of the day covering the trial from the media ‘overflow’ room upstairs…

“Back in the Chicago federal courthouse, Black, after learning of Bower’s ouster, smiled at the marshal and said that Bower is ‘an a-hole.’ The marshal seemed to agree.”

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3 comments on “Black Lies Flatter: Triumph of a Tubby-thumper
  1. OJM says:

    The Presidential pardon is a very odd thing…the most kingly of Executive powers, an outright affront to the very idea of rule-of-law. It is as if the Founding Good Ol’ Boys – slave-drivers by day, readers of Locke and Montesquieu by night – couldn’t abide the prospect of grubby judges and even grubbier jurors having the final say in criminal matters involving the natural aristocracy of the filthy rich and well-connected.

  2. OJM says:

    CBSA Rent-a-Cop: “You have a titanium what?”

  3. Papadoc says:

    Whoa! Stop! Nobody has touched me there with a hard object for ages!

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