Ford Nation Fornication?! Doug, you dog!

So here’s another thing Doug Ford has in common with Donald Trump: They’re both philanderers.

At least that’s the latest tattle from Toronto, where the Globe and Mail and Toronto Star are in moist pursuit of a story that Doug has a mistress stashed in a condo in Etobicoke.

Ms. X, we are unreliably informed, is not only Doug’s legover companion, but also a Tory candidate in the June 7 provincial running of the reptiles.

According to opposition operatives, she’s been set up in a plush condo and drives a Mercedes C300, all paid for by Doug.

She’s just a few years older than the eldest Ford daughter, Krista, 27. (Apparently, Doug has a passion for K’s. In addition to Krista, his other daughters are Kayla, Kara and Kyla. Oh, and the wife, Karla.)

Speaking of Karla, she’s been mysteriously absent from the campaign; MIA since she appeared with him at the podium on victory night last March.

Doug’s alleged horizontal exploits bring back fond memories of former premier Mike Harris, another old-timey Tory family values crusader, who was getting a legover with Sharon Dunn whilst still very much married to second wife Janet, circa 2000.

Meanwhile, Ford campaign manager Kory Teneycke is said to be soiling his undersilks and has already ordered up polling on the potential damage if the story gets out.

Rest assured, Kory, Doug’s secret is safe with us.

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18 comments on “Ford Nation Fornication?! Doug, you dog!
  1. Alan Smithee says:

    Whatever the market will bare!

  2. OJM says:

    Fake-contrite media statement with sullen wife at side in three, two, one…

  3. hillman says:

    Must be Natalia Kusendova

  4. reym says:

    Doh! Begins, rather.

  5. daveS says:

    Are the Fords members of the Kabalarian Church, famous Vancouver-based nutters who were changing names for better numerology? “Your name determines your every experience.” This resulted in odd spellings and overuse of the Letter K.
    But the Skeptics Dictionary, SkepDic, doesn’t think so.

    And why is Doug Ford still Doug Ford, rather than what his Kabalarian “Name Analysis” says it might be?

  6. daveS says:

    Miss Kusendova, who speaks English, Polish, French, Czech and Slovak, would be used to odd namings.

  7. Nete Peedham says:

    Well, there IS a Kinga Surma running in Etobicoke for the Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario.

    Her first name? Ford has a … kink?

  8. daveS says:

    Kory Teneycke, mentioned above also has a K.
    Somehow I do see the new Kdoug K. Kford cabinet as a KKKlan. (Other Ks are silent as in stiletto Knife, and Knight of the Realm.)
    Nouns: knack knacker knackwurst knag knapsack knapweed knar knave knawel knee knell knickerbockers knickers knickknack knife knight knob knock knoll knop knosp knot knout knowledge knuckle knur knurl
    Verbs: beknave knap knead knee kneel knell knight knit knock knot know knurl
    Others: knackered knaggy knavish knotty known knurly
    etc. tec.

  9. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    Good to see a fellow proudly man-spreading, in more ways than one. Note the Trumpian tie-length: “Guess what I have down here.”

  10. Forbes Kennedy says:

    The Worm must be devastated.

  11. Mommabear says:

    Can’t imagine being pounded by that gut can be fun….

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