By the time ya read this ya might know who’s won the election, ’cause maybe you’re a slow reader. And if it’s the NDP then I hope you’ve done the smart thing an’ drunk yerself to death. RIP pal, I’ll be joinin’ ya presently.
Pundits agree it’s drink now or drink later, because any way ya cut this cheese called Ontario, under the NDP it’ll be donkey’s years before yer poor kids know the convenience of buyin’ their hard liquor along with their soda pop an’ Big League Chew.
What’re Ontarioans smokin’? We don’t know all the facts yet, but if Doug Ford sold it to ’em then he wasn’t lookin’ at the bigger picture. Sweet Ben Wicks, it’s like they don’t even remember Mitch Hepburn!
Have ya seen some of these NDP candidates for Comrade Horwath’s politburo? I’d sooner vote for the dead mouse at the Mandarin buffet. At least then I’d get 10% off my next meal.
Anyhow, the Dippers are runnin’ their Leapers and Truthers and self-hatin’ Jew professors what think Israel oughta not kill everybody, if you please.
I swear, it’s enough to give you night terrors in the darkness at noon.
Then of course there’s the radicalized librarian what won’t wear a poppy. It “glorifies war” she says, like Canadians are too stupid to figure it out for themselves.
Lest we forget, lady, the war was the best years of our lives. There’s even a motion picture by that name, and a fella with no hands won a special Oscar for his troubles. Look it up if you don’t believe me.
I’m not sayin’ a librarian don’t have a right to drive me crazy, but I didn’t nearly die in the whorehouses of Ortona to be thrilled about it, or check out a book.
Now me, I never take my poppy off. It’s pretty much doctor’s orders, what with the straight pins and my rheumatism.
Anyhow, it’s a secret ballot, so I’ll just leave ya with this: Say what you like about Mike Harris but at least he deregulated the trains on time.