Just Off The Turnip Truck #2: Legally Ivanka!

It is clear in the nepocratic age of Justin Trudeau, Doug Ford Jr., Dominic LeBlanc, Duffer Harris Jr., etc., that our polity is now in the hands of the Family Compact’s most modestly-talented second cousins.

Not Ivanka Muldoon, though. She’s great. And Frank will hear no more cheap credentialist impugning of the qualifications of our attorney general.

True, Byron‘s impeccably-bred daughter describes herself as a lawyer, but the evidence to support her claim has always been threadbare. She is unlisted by the Law Society of Upper Canada — even as a non-practicing lawyer. She did article for a large NYC firm for a year after graduating from NYU law school. (Bay St. tycoon Lawrence Bloomberg subsequently gave her a job…in “client services.”)

So, technically speaking, the AG’s not a lawyer, just a pedigree pol. with a law degree, and not currently licensed to practice law in the province where she is now the government’s legalist-in-chief. Mere details.

Ivanka, after all, is not the first AG in Ontario history to lack this incidental qualification Sure, once upon a time, you had to be a lawyer to be the province’s, er, lawyer. And have a tallywacker, for that matter.

But that all changed with Norma Bob Rae‘s because-it’s-1993 pick of Marion Boyd, not only the first non-lawyer but the first woman plunked into the office.

Boyd, of course, had already racked up valuable cabinet experience pooching the education portfolio. Caroline “won” an unopposed nomination in true blue York-Simcoe, and then finished a remote third in the PC leadership contest, just two points ahead of behold-a-pale-horse candidate, Tanya Granic Anal.

Before politics, Boyd had put in six years as executive director of the London Battered Women’s Advocacy Clinic. Ivanka, of course, has made her own bespoke philanthropic contributions to the sisterhood.

That would be the Shoebox Project, that do-gooding hobby for well-off women looking to pad their resumés for election purposes (shurely ‘enhance self-esteem for women in crisis?!’—ed.) Ivanka ran the Shoebox Project along with assorted Muldoon-aligned women, including her sister-in-law, Jessica, but it seems they didn’t exactly keep close tabs on the books.

According to CRA data, over the past four years, the gals blew an inordinate amount of the Shoebox revenue on “administration.” From 2014 through 2017, they raised $316,401 in donations. But over that same period, “Admin and other” costs hoovered up $99,419.

That’s nearly 32 per cent of revenues spent on running the society girl endeavor — way over the figure recommended by Moneysense.ca, which does an annual rating of Canadian charities’ efficiencies and says admin costs shouldn’t exceed 10%.

Okay, but did Marion Boyd go to Harvard? Because Ivanka did!

But this, too, was a near thing. Though she was an excellent student at Ottawa’s swish private Lycée Claudel, her marks were not quite up to the exacting Harvard standard.

Help, thankfully, was on the way. When Ivanka told Muldoon père of her Ivy League ambitions, the PM made a call to then-U.S. Secretary of State James Baker. A few days later, the university’s director of admissions received a glowing letter of reference from Baker, who had met Ivanka on only one occasion, no doubt memorable. She was admitted to Harvard without further ado.

Even the results of Frank‘s infamous Deflower Caroline contest, some sticklers insist, come with an asterisk. Blueblood hubby Andrew Lapham claims official honours, of course, but years before, Yves Faguy of Montreal, a classmate of Ivanka’s at Claudel, boasted most ungallantly of sliding into third in the pantry of 24 Sussex.

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8 comments on “Just Off The Turnip Truck #2: Legally Ivanka!
  1. Stbarnabas says:

    Ivanka’s law degree isn’t from Harvard but NYU. Guess Daddy’s money and string pulling only goes so far.She went to Harvard for undergrad.

  2. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    I IVANKA?? Maybe do a date-check: Was that Mila’s choice, or was Dad buttering
    up a certain limousine American?

  3. daveS says:

    …”sister-in-law Jessica, bu tit seems …”

    bu tit!!? What was the editor drinking?

  4. daveS says:

    By the way, it is not Moneysense.ca that does the charity analyses, but CharityIntelligence.ca and MoneySense.CA publisher a short summary of some of the 800 findings.

  5. Papadoc says:

    What is that gaping fold in her neck, an incipient mouth?

    • daveS says:

      This is the ‘stock shot’ from Ivanka Mulroney’s speech to the Empire Club, a talking shop founded in 1903, that has offices the the Fairmont Royal York. For only $89 you could hear Ivanka squawk about “Ontarians are crying out for change” on 2 March 2018 as moderated by one Lisa Raitt, with a lunch.

      Thus the flag of Theresa (Teresa) May, a Union Jack, behind the lined photo of a stress-lined and concerned face of Ms Mulroney.

      Some unfortunate people even have the collected annual speeches books, holding up legs of their old mahogany sofas and armchairs.

  6. OJM says:

    Spawn of Muldoon and Imelda? This is the best available? Clearly, the humiliation of having to do the demotic cha-cha while soliciting the votes of chronic substance abusers, petty criminals and suburbanites is keeping good people from seeking public office.

  7. Is Data Fact says:

    That mush has some hard bark on it. I thought a privileged life prevented that sort of thing

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