This week’s Selfie Award goes to Zach Paikin, asshat son of TVOSteve.
The 22-year-old wannabe statesman, who recently declared himself a candidate for the Liberal nomination in Hamilton West-Ancaster-Dundas—a no-hope publicity stunt–is one of those precocious wankers whose grasp exceeds his reach.
Two years ago, the post of Liberal national policy chair was the prize with Zachy boldly unpacking his vision for national unity, “evidence-based policy” and, er…
The party of Laurier inexplicably passed and Zippy went back to Toastmasters to work on his handshake.
The boy needs an editor. Instead, he’s got Daddy Dearest, living his own political fantasies through Junior.
What he should have done was lock Zach in a soundproof room and give him time to teethe in private. Instead, the kid’s hanging it all out, making an utter twat of himself, and begging for a wedgie every time he opens his sanctimonious gob.
Who can forget Zach’s column in iPolitics a couple of years ago in which he called for the early parole of Paikin family friend Garth Drabinsky. Zach’s argument? The fraudster’s production of Ragtime once brought lil’ Zach to tears. “I was literally balling my eyes out,” (shurely shome mishtake!?–ed.)
But Zach’s most narcissistic moments are saved for tweeted photos that begin with “Happy to catch up with…” then inserts pic of prominent Canadian (John Turner, Justin Trudeau, Byron Muldoon…).
Often, the shots are taken by Steve, like the one of Zach “mourning” in the vicinity of Lincoln “Towncar” Alexander’s casket in October 2012.
Zach tweeted: Paying my respects at the casket of former Ontario Lieutenant-Governor Lincoln Alexander. Linc, you were a true Canadian pioneer and hero. Thank you for helping us obtain a more diverse and tolerant Canada. May peace be upon you. — with Zach Paikin at Queen’s Park.
When someone suggested to Steve that he “didn’t need to be his son’s press agent,” Paikin the Elder told him to piss off.
For the Paikins, nothing is sacred, everything is promotional—and must be used to score political points. In a classic, too-much-information-moment, Zach came out on Facebook with the announcement that he wasn’t eligible to give blood in Canada because “I am a man who has engaged in sexual activity with other men.”
He was soon backtracking, noting in a later comment that he “wasn’t coming out. I’m heterosexual. I’ve just engaged in MSM activity over the past five years. I felt compelled to reveal this information to provide as much support for my friends in the LGBTQ community as I can.”
It was unknown at press time just who made the supreme sacrifice for Zippy’s rainbow connection.
The LGBTQ community is of course speechless with gratitude.