Groves of Academe: Allan Rock, Professor of Applied Troughing

So farewell, then, Allan Rock, who ends his pisse-pauvre shift as University of Ottawa president June 30. But it’s not goodbye so much as ‘what, you again?’, as El Presidente transitions effortlessly into a full professorship at U of Zero’s Faculty of Law.
Rock’s 2013 contract renewal as president, which locked him in for another three years at $395K per annum (topped up by his parliamentary pension, not unadjacent to $75,000) also acknowledged his 2008 promotion to full, tenure-tracked professor.

What a coup for the much-unpublished Rock, unencumbered as he is by a PhD or the YULEs (years of full-time university-level experience), the university typically requires of its full professors.

What are mere qualifications next to Rocky’s rich life experience as UN ambassador, and his long years fucking up ministerial files like the stumblebum Airbus prosecution, gun registry debacle, etc., etc?

Rock did not disappoint, either, in his many misadventures at U of Zero, of which the Gee Gees hockey five-holing scandale and snap suspension of the entire team was only the most egregiously mishandled.

“Rock shot from the hip,” said one of his admiring U. of O. law colleagues. “Without any due process framed by a presumption of innocence, and without hearing the individual players’ side of the story.”

Non-rapist members of the hockey team last year launched a $6-million class-action lawsuit against the school and Rock.

“He failed the most basic precepts of administrative law, which we teach in year one of law school,” Professor X adds.

Happily, Professor Rock will have ample opportunity to brush up. His first order of business will be a 19-month sabbatical, at full presidential salary, bien sur, to prepare himself for the rigours of academe. That’s $625,000 to not work there, leaving plenty of time to putter away on RockGarden Medicinals, the family marijuana startup, with wife Debbie Hanscom (Franks passim).

Herr Not-a-Doktor Professor will then embark on a three-year contract starting February 2018, at 130 per cent of the maximum salary for a full professor, some $222,416, as he plumps up yet another public sector pension!

Here endeth the lesson.

That Rock contract in full: allan-rock-employment-contract

11 comments on “Groves of Academe: Allan Rock, Professor of Applied Troughing
  1. OJM says:

    But our universities as terribly, terribly underfunded, don’cha know?

  2. Stbarnabas says:

    Truly astounding. One of the jobs of the U of O Prez is to help with fundraising. Most grads learning of this will reduce their contributions to zero.

  3. Steve-O says:

    Makes me almost puke to know that one cent of my taxes is going toward Rock’s compensation. University of Ottawa students should be demanding a refund on their tuition fees.

  4. reym says:

    Wow! This guy has a Ph.D. in troughing, that’s for sure.

  5. bubbagreat says:

    He didn’t even attend classes when “in law school”. Goes to show that the most lucrative profession is sucking p to the Liberal party.

  6. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    This is a skilled opportunist. Credit where credit is due.

  7. Muldoon's NyQuil says:

    “An education obtained with money is worse than no education at all.” ~Socrates

    “UofOWatch Disclaimer: unless otherwise stated, the views expressed in posts and comments are those of the posting authors. Except if otherwise stated, the views and positions of UofOWatch are those of Denis G. Rancourt, former professor of physics at the University of Ottawa.”

  8. Patrick60 says:

    Wondered what those rising tuition fees were paying for.

  9. Muldoon's NyQuil says:

    “Do politicians admit to reading Frank magazine? “I don’t read it, I don’t respect it. Like sewage, it’s one of the things that’s there in life, but you don’t have to do more than be aware it exists.”
    –Allan Rock

  10. daveS says:

    And as a result of Dr. Rock’s neglect
    “Library collections expenditures will be cut by a total of $1.927M. Serials and databases expenditures will be reduced by $1.527 million and books expenditures by $400K.” U of Zero Library News Friday, September 23, 2016.
    Complete list of 2,222 Taylor and Francis publisher’s journal titles to be cut, and complete list of 1,904 Springer titles to be cut are listed in Collections update – September 2016.

  11. daveS says:

    Should those numbers be revised with the publication on March 22, 2018 of the Ontario “Sunshine” List of those making over $100,000 on public payrolls?

    “The University of Ottawa has 1,496 names on the Sunshine List, including president Jacques Frémont with a salary of $396,561 (plus $14,415.60 in taxable benefits) and former president Allan Rock with a salary of $394,999.92 (plus $15.60 in taxable benefits). Frémont and Rock are ninth and tenth, respectively on the list.”

Leave a Reply