Justina McCaffrey’s Kanata-Carleton Kaper

Exciting news from Frank‘s old galpal Justina McCaffrey, as the air-kissing bridal gown designer to the stars attempts a daring lifestyle leap from tulle to Toryism!

“As you know, my whole life, I have been passionate about two things, Fashion, and Politics,” Justina writes in a missive to friends and potential backers. “I have had a wonderful and rewarding career in fashion. I have achieved all of my goals and as I am reaching 53 years old, I decided to transition my vocation and run for federal politics and to become a member of parliament. I believe that I have the leadership, the business acumen, and the drive necessary to make a fundamental change to make Canada a better place to live in. I am having a fund raiser at one of most beautiful homes in Ottawa, I truly hope that you can make it, if you cannot make it, (and you would certainly be missed), please consider helping the campaign by providing a donation. You can reach out to me anytime at this email address, or you may use our new email: campaign@justinamccaffrey.com.

Very Best

Justina McCaffrey”

The aspiring stateswoman has fixed her eye on the federal Conservative nomination in Kanata-Carleton, where she’s already snagged a seat on the riding association’s board of directors. Liberal Lt. Col. (rtd) Karen McCrimmon decisively spanked Tory Walter Pamic here in the 2015 running of the reptiles, taking 51 per cent of the vote to Walt’s 39. The naysayers, saying nay as they will, opine that novice Justina must be delusional (she is), or the Tories hard-up for talent (they are).

Frank will hear no such caviling! Justina’s years of dressing all the right brides, debutantes, celebs and charity mavens has endowed her with a formidable social circle of the moneyed and well-connected. Her inaugural $1500-a-plate tree-shaker is set for Apr. 26 at the home of Terry and Catherine McLaughlin, the Terlin Construction moneybaggers. (Catherine will no doubt greet guests in one of her collection of McCaffrey frocks.)

Most tantalizing of all is the “Special Guest,” TBA. With a Rolodex like Justina’s, it could be almost anyone! Laureen Harper, par exemple, was not only a regular client, but one of Justina’s besties and confidantes when the first matron occupied 24 Sussex. Could she be coaxed back to Sodom-on-the-Rideau for one last political suck’n’blow? What a coup, especially if, as hoped, she leaves old what’s-his-name back in Calgary.

Failing that, lesser lights could fill in for an evening to sorta remember. Charming prime ministerial progeny Catherine Clark perhaps? Justina’s ex-jogging partner and noted cheque-writer Nigel Wright? Or how about alt-right pinup Faith Goldy?

Readers may recall last fall, when Justina’s twin passions were fashion and, er, reality television, she and Faith, then freshly bounced from Rebel Media (never go full Nazi!) were flogging their bridezilla showcase, A Wedding Dress For Everyone But Me. In the pilot, the gals kvetched about their unaccountable difficulties in landing a suitable rich, straight, conservative white goy:

Justina: “So I have my girlfriend, Faith, who’s wonderful. We hang out, have glasses of wine, martinis, spend some time with each other. She gives me ideas, we go out and meet eligible men.

Faith: “I believe in a little thing called the ‘girl mafia’: If you’re hot, you’re smart, you’re pretty, you roll in the right crowds. And when it comes to [Toronto], we’re about as close as you get to being called the ‘socialite.’ Anywhere you go. The ‘It’ event, you’ll see Justina McCaffrey and Faith Goldy there.”

Frank trusts the Conservatives have commenced their due diligence on Candidate McCaffrey, to avoid any unpleasant surprises vis-a-vis her 2008 bankruptcy ($1,495,839) or 2016’s spot of bother when three much-pissed investors, “Not the Real” Tom Thompson, Walter Lechky and Christine Frieze, demanded she return not only their dosh ($186,531.46) but a pile of gowns they claimed were theirs, not hers.

Mere trifles, all, and no reason not to say yes to the dressmaker!

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7 comments on “Justina McCaffrey’s Kanata-Carleton Kaper
  1. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    “Transition my vocation?” “To make fundamental change to make…”? “One of most beautiful homes”? If this is her English, can you imagine what her French is like?

  2. OJM says:

    Makes sense…since Baird left the Conservative caucus has desperately needed a seamstress.

  3. Nete Peedham says:

    Another, uh…blonde…is into the Conservatives. Shocked, I tell yah..

  4. reym says:

    Frank’s editor has made an error. That is a photo of the late Johnny Winter with the four women in white.

  5. hillman says:

    is there any intell on who is tapping Justina?

  6. Alan Smithee says:

    Bride and Prejudice!

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