Inebrial Media: Throw Away the Keyes!

Anyone willing to carpool to the Market Media Mall from Orleans, please contact Stefan “Handover” Keyes
(stefan.keyes@bellmedia.ca).

You’ll, er, have to drive.

CTV Ottawa’s one-man glee club is under a one-year road ban for driving whilst over-proof. In a March 10 sentencing, Judge Mitchell Hoffman also fined the multi-talented singer, actor and televisual personality $1,200 (plus $180 victim surcharge).

Stefan, readers will recall, got pinched by Ottawa flatfeet in the wee hours of May 12 at St. Joseph Blvd and Tenth Line Road, on the way home from a night in the Market with whistle stops at the Blue Cactus and Junxion.

He was a mere four km from his Orleans domicile when pulled over, noticeably aromatic and with ¾ of a bottle of Absolut in the backseat.

Convicted of having insufficient blood in his drinkstream – he blew .131 – Stefan nonetheless managed to beat an accompanying impaired driving charge, on insufficient evidence that the refreshments had adversely affected his characteristic composure, style and ease on the road.

Throughout this unpleasant legal contretemps, as per time-honoured tradition, not a word of it was reported by Stefan’s discreet and understanding colleagues at CTV, or elsewhere in the Ottawa media.

Trebles all ‘round!

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4 comments on “Inebrial Media: Throw Away the Keyes!
  1. orphancarguy says:

    Now they can all report on it. I await with ‘bated breath for those fearless crusaders after Truth.

  2. SkyBlue says:

    Don’t hold your breath waiting for this story to appear in the mainstream media. The media are like circling sharks protecting their own Can you imagine if it was Rob Ford who had been guilty on a similar boozing and driving charge rather than Keyes? There would have been a feeding frenzy!

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