Lead-lined Headlines

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“When you topple statues of your nation’s founder, [you’re] arguing that the world would be a better place without Canada….”

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“Instead of trying to eliminate the spread [of coronaviruses], we need to learn to live with them.”

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“Winter is coming and the grim iceberg is heading towards the great ship.”

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“The greatest acts of insubordination by a very senior officer in U.S. military history.”

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Peter Mansbingo new book now available at the Toronto Public Library and, er…

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“You know there is a problem when people on bail are involved in horrible crimes and people on bail are also victims of them.”

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“You may call Canada a maple drip of a country. The U.S. drips blood.”

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“As Bismarck said of Disraeli, ‘Das ist der Mann.’”

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“That’s who Leylah Fernandez is—the George Chuvalo of tennis. No one takes a punch like she does.”

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From The Pouty Lips of Incel Pinup Girl No. 1

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Worm Castings

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“I miss Mr. Trump…”

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“…encouraging the elderly to commit suicide.”

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Kinsella Klown Kar

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“It is undeniable that U.S. President Joe Biden has to take the full force of blame for the chaos in Afghanistan”

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“The anti-maskers and anti-vaccine protesters are an American phenomenon that snuck up here.”

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“The scenes from Kabul look like a modern-day Dunkirk. But Afghanistan is not on water and these are not trained military soldiers.”

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“Is there any sane person who in the dark and quiet of their bedroom in the dead, vast, and middle of the night would not prefer Trump?”

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“Porn legend Victoria Paris was very classy and had an aura of innocence”

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“I was delighted to see…Stephen Harper in the news pages and on video last week”

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“Disagree with me. I can take it. So can strong women—you know, the ones worth listening to.”

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“Masks [are] an absurd placebo and fashion-piece like bell-bottom trousers from the early 70’s.”

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“Even with stone waling, we will not give up on them.”

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“…lobotomous idiocy like…our absurd obsession with climate change.”

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“I’m always glad to be in Texas and fully vaccinated and livin’ in the land of the free.”

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“The goal now is to get the alleged killer in handcuffs. Toronto Police have just about everything else.”

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“Milley [likening] Trump to Hitler [was] full grounds for court-martial….”

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“I think we grafted onto ourselves the hysteria about the COVID-19 virus that was promoted by the American national political media

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“My new wellness plan specifically addresses stress.”

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” The Greens are shrinking faster than their favourite gloomy projections for the Arctic icecap.”

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“It is time to make a bonfire of political correctness and return to “systemic” common sense.”

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“What comes after dazzle? Frazzle. Or frazzled, if you want to get all grammatical about it.”

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“An investigation is underway!”

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