Whose House: Bonnie Crombie and the Real Ex-Wives of East Patchog
Does Frank Know?
Frank By Name, Frank By Nature.
Leah McLaren
Retreat!
Yesterday I wanted to kill people. Not just the people on the retreat (who are all very calm and friendly and kind, which of course is why I wanted to kill them) but all the living creatures in the world—including a small herd of goats and a few obedient wood nymphs to milk them…. But now it is day three and I feel boundless love for all of god’s creatures. By ‘god’ I mean the sweet glistening particles of pulp in my orange juice…. I felt myself being nourished by the minerals of the earth which sustained the roots of the mother tree that birthed the oranges…. I went to yoga and wept in corpse pose, great heaving sobs of empathy for the people I love and who love me back honestly with open hearts. I experienced a profound sensation of completeness with the universe. As I wept I did not worry about puffy eyes because in the afternoon I was booked to have my lymph nodes massaged.
—Leah McLaren, spectator.co.uk, Oct. 18, 2023.
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Game, set and match!
“A month ago, the Bank of Canada initially reported that the carbon tax was responsible for a mere 0.15% increase in inflation… However, just yesterday, the Governor revised this figure to a staggering 0.6%... [T]he earlier estimate by the Bank of Canada may be viewed as… misleading… The lesson here is simple. Canadians… deserve honesty. If addressing climate change comes at a cost, be straightforward with them.” --Sylvain ‘Food Perfessor’ Charlebois, Oct. 31, 2023.
“We have not revised our calculations. The figures 0.15 and 0.6 are answers to two different questions.” --The Bank of Canada, Oct. 31, 2023.
