A tip of the Frank chapeau to Semen O’Regus, acclaimed last week as Liberal substandard-bearer in St. John’s South-Mount Pearl.
Princess Justine’s HO-scale shopping buddy had originally had his wee heart set on Toronto Centre, inconveniently earmarked for Chrystia “Britney” Freeland. Neighbouring T.O. ridings would perforce require the winning of a nomination tilt, an enterprise thought beyond Seamus’ political competence, limited as it is to long-ago stints as a junior fartcatcher to Brian Tobin and Jean Charest.
After careful consultation with Team Justin, it was decided the erstwhile Canada AM meatwhistle would shortarse it back to Newfoundland, where he hasn’t lived in 15 years.
Since Seamus and delightful hubby Steve Doussis would be a tough sell in the churchy rural areas of the Rock, that left two urban ridings in St. John’s. Liberal polling fingered St. John’s South-Mount Pearl, currently in the clutches of Knee-Dipper Ryan Cleary, as the most snatchable, and O’Regan packed his parachute.
One hitch: well-known local real estate thingy Jim Burton had already announced for the nomination. He got a visit from Tobin, who explained that the riding was to be O’Regan’s and PM Trudeau II would have no trouble finding a comfy federal board appointment prize for his non-interference in the coronation.
A queasy Burton took one whiff of the oily Tobin oeuvre and suddenly remembered pressing business elsewhere, ceding the field to our boy Seamus.
With the fix thus in, Seamus didn’t even bother to stick around St. John’s to arsecreep local Libs. In the week leading up to the official close of potential candidacies, he instead strapped himself to the bar at the LPC(O) knees-up in Markham Sept. 12-14.
Candidate Regan’s public speaking debut back in St. John’s came three days after his nomination, at a Sept. 25 shindig sponsored by The Walrus at The Rooms, and he bombed.
Turns out the beloved televisual personality is somewhat at sea without a TelePrompTer, and mush-mouthed his way agonizingly through his notes. No doubt there’s plenty of time to enrol in Toastmasters before the campaign.
Oh, Justin, what have ye wrought?