The Audacity of Andray Domise

“That is not true. Why do you Andre me like that?”
–Urban Dictionary

Andray Domise may be a no-hoper in the race for Ward 2 next week—he’s up against Rob Ford—but that’s beside the point.

For Domise, the municipal election campaign has merely been a dress rehearsal, meant to raise his profile and lay the groundwork for a run with the reptiles in next year’s federal election.

Well, here’s some Frank advice for Andray: Before you get into another election campaign, clean up a few of your more blatant resume nosestretchers.

Sure, play the candidate-o’-colour card if you must, but please spare us the stereotypical hardship fable, that you were raised in poverty, the old tar paper shack, back in the holler, doo-dah.

For example: “Andray was born in Toronto to an immigrant Jamaican family. He and his two sisters were raised by a single mother in a social housing complex in Rexdale. Domise earned a B.A. in politics before going to work in Toronto’s financial industry.”

To clarify. He was born “Andre,” but switched to the more Caribana-inflected “Andray” when he realized that “Andre” comes with all sorts of inferences, none of them flattering (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Andre.)

As for “Andray’s” childhood, it was not quite the school of hard knockers he portrays.

His “single, Jamaican” mother remarried and the family moved to West Palm Beach, where his two sisters were born.

Eventually, they settled in Toronto, but by then Andray was in his teens and he enrolled in the University of Windsor.

Alas, he dropped out of school. But after he decided to get into politics, he finished off his degree through Windsor’s distance degree program.

As for being a “financial planner, and a former manager for one of Canada’s largest group insurance companies,” er, that would be Sun Life, where he worked as an insurance salesthingy.

Steve Mahoney is 78.

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2 comments on “The Audacity of Andray Domise
  1. orphancarguy says:

    ” I scrambled up the educational ladder over time on the gritty south side of Detroit” (translation= I went to UniWindsor which was in a Grit riding where I could see Detroit across the river to the north, then dropped out and eventually did the distance degree so I could finally say I succeeded at the school of U Win!)

    • mmedesevigne says:

      Dude, seriously, you should be working for Frank full-time. I’ll bet he’s kicking himself right now for not having thought up your brilliant end-of-piece zinger on his own.

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