Phrank Psephology: Whitby-Oshawa

It’s finally show time for Celina Caesar-Chavannes, the Liberals’ acclaimed Alliterative Canadian candidate for St. Jim Flaherty’s Whitby-Oshawa fiefdom.

She’s up against similarly-anointed Whitby Mayor Pat Perkins, whom the Tories installed with the aid of a snap nomination call and a retroactive membership sales cut-off date (announced Sept. 5, effective Sept. 1), thus hosing David Glover, the former riding association prez.

Glover whinged that he’d been jobbed by Tory operations doofus Fred DeLorey, after he refused to step aside for Mayor Pat.

“The Conservative Party of Canada’s nominations are completely fair and open,” Conservative spokesliar Cory Hann told the Globe and Minion.

Team Trudeau’s decision to hand the Liberal nomination to Celina, rather than risk the political noob getting out-hustled by some bus-filling party hack is understandable.

She checks so many boxes as a telegenic woman o’colour, the Toronto Board of Trade’s 2012 Business Entrepreneur of the Year, with an MBA from the University of, er, Phoenix.

Ah, the hallowed halls of U of P. The for-profit U.S. degree-dispenser, owned by corporate parent Apollo Education Group, boasts an open admissions policy – if your cheque clears, they’re open — and a graduation rate of about 16 per cent compared to 55 per cent in traditional universities. Even though only 13 per cent of students are enrolled in for-profit schools nation-wide, they account for over half of student loan defaults.

As the largest outfit of its kind, the esteemed institute of lower larnin’ has endured no end of regulatory harassment and academic snobbery over the years.

The Department of Education earlier this year announced yet another investigation into U of Pee’s use of student loan and aid money and on-campus security and drug policies.

They paid a $6-million fine in 2000 to settle allegations that their programs offered too few hours of instruction to qualify for student loans.

In 2007, just a couple of years after Celina and hubby Vidal got their matching his-and-hers MBAs from U. of P., the New York Times started sniffing around student complaints about taking on debt for a bunch of online courses and group work that got them nowhere nearer a job.

“Their business degree is an MBA Lite,” Henry Levin, professor of higher education at Teachers College at Columbia University, told the Times. “I’ve looked at their course materials. It’s a very low level of instruction.”

The university’s biz school was also unaccredited by the Association to Advance Collegiate Schools of Business, and according to then-president John Fernandes, had never even applied.

“They’re smart enough to understand their chances of approval would be low,” quoth Fernandes. “They have a lot of come-and-go faculty. We like institutions where the faculty is stable and can ensure that students are being educated by somebody who knows what they’re doing.”

Such elitism, of course, has no place in The Justin Trudeau Party, where any unseemly scrutiny of Celine’s credentials was avoided by simply skipping the entire nomination unpleasantness.

Problem solved!

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2 comments on “Phrank Psephology: Whitby-Oshawa
  1. busty says:

    I posted a question to the great candidate about her MBA, but sadly, it has to be approved by an administrator.

  2. gormab says:

    Is it just me or does this woman have the most menacing smile since the Joker?

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