Oh, that Bill Hitler!

The Internet is like Coney Island carnival barkers, who say, “Come on in here and see a three-legged man!” So you walk in and it’s a guy with a crutch.
–Jon Stewart

These are desperate times at the National Post. With circulation in extremis and numerous hacks hitting the bricks, the once-proud pifflesheet has resorted to littering its pages with clickbait rubbish.

The frantic quest for the lure du jour has Post editors scraping the bottom of the news barrel for something/anything to grab the attention of their rapidly dwindling nursing home readership.

Thus the recent proliferation of headlines about Hitler and/or Nazis. (On those joyous occasions when the Post can work both Hitler and Nazis into a hed, it’s trebles all ‘round and praise be to Godfrey.)

As a public service, the Frankland Capital Corporation Data Dumpster Diving Dept. recently completed an exhaustive survey of the Post’s most pathetic clickbaits.

Turns out the Post has somehow managed to work “Hitler” or “Nazi” into 39 headlines since Jan. 1, 2017. (By comparison, the Globe had a paltry two Hitlers and a Nazi—“Freeland knew her grandfather was editor of Nazi newspaper.”)

But that was mere flummery compared to the Post, whose Greatest Hitler Hits included:

– The prime minister with a man crush for Hitler: The day Mackenzie King met the Fuhrer
–May 15.

– She gave birth on a chilly evening 128 years ago: Hitler ’s mother was the ‘only the person he genuinely loved’
–April 20.

– Austrian police arrest ‘Hitler ’s double’ — moustache, uniform and all — after being seen outside
Hitler’s home
Feb. 14.

And the winner:
– Strange tale of Hitler’s nephew resurfaces as Canadian sells 1939 ‘Why I hate my uncle’ article.
–NP, May 8.

The 800-word fluffer was lifted from boingboing https://boingboing.net/2017/04/28/why-i-hate-my-uncle-by-wi.html. In it, William Hitler, nephew of Adolph, recounts his tale in a 1939 interview in Look Magazine, which a used bookstore on Vancouver Island was trying to flog for $950.

Full marks to the Post for its original re-reporting, and for giving a free ad to Jim Stachow, the plucky bookseller from Ladysmith.

Here’s Jim in his tinfoil hat.

Perhaps there’s a future for him as a Post editor.

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3 comments on “Oh, that Bill Hitler!
  1. daveS says:

    Are all the articles by humanities-lit-scrounger Tristan Hopper?

  2. OJM says:

    Coming soon: “A Kale-Quinoa Loaf Hitler Would Have Loved”.

  3. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    Not to mention yuk stories from many lands: today it was an AP story about child abuse
    in Feaserville Pennsylvania, wherever that is. Then there is the woman in Utah who pulled
    her son’s teeth with pliers in a Walmart loo. (The photo was of a pair of pliers.)

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