A delight to see Jenni Byrne once again deploying the famous charm and forthrightness that made her such a force as the Tories’ election mastermind.
Byrne, readers will recall, fled town in a hail of bullets after the 2015 shitshow, for which she caught more blame than President Steve. The She-Wolf of the CPC, her detractors claimed, doomed the otherwise uplifting and edifying Tory campaign with her nepotistic team of inexperienced friends and family, selected for their loyalty to Herself alone, including a cousin and her former hairdresser.
But you can’t keep a good woman — or Jenni – down, and she soon resurfaced as a senior communications thingy at Bayfield Strategy, and now fluffs for image-challenged corporate clients like Fortress Real Developments, leading hustlers of the woofy syndicated mortgage schemes disturbing the slumbers of various regulators.
Reuters hack Mark Scuffingham reported Nov. 30 on various investigations from the Finance Ministry, FSCO, CRA and RCMP into ludicrous allegations that Fortress’s investment products, peddled to unsophisticated retail investors as guaranteed money-makers, misrepresent risks, cut regulatory corners, or in any way whatsoever resemble Ponzi schemes:
“In the past decade, more than 20,000 retail investors have put as much as C$1.5 billion (US$1.17 billion) into syndicated mortgages, mostly in Ontario, according to regulatory sources. Roughly 90 percent of those investments, the sources said, have ended in a loss or are at risk of doing so, and Fortress projects make up more than half of the investments.”
Company founders Jawad Rathore and Vince Petrozza were sadly unavailable for comment, leaving Jenni to issue their blanket denials/libel chills: “Fortress will continue to vigorously defend themselves against false untrue claims.”
Good times. Of course, when it comes to personal endorsement of strictly caveat emptor goods, our Jenni, it seems, will never live down her time as pillow puppy to parliamentary pindick Pierre Poilievre.
In those days, denizens of Byrne’s Centretown apartment building had no idea who the supremely unpleasant woman elbowing them aside in the laundry room was, or thought she was. But they could easily identify the shifty-eyed knob who walked Jenni’s corgi. It was the over-exposed member for Nepean-Carleton, as seen on CPAC.
Long after their split, the Byrne-Poilievre power-coupling remains a biographical touchstone, as in Globe and Mail typist Laura Stone‘s profile last month of Pissy Pierre as chief tormentor of Finance Minister Bill Morneau:
“That a 38-year-old career politician commonly known as ‘Skippy’ could successfully challenge the well-heeled 55-year-old former executive chair of Morneau Shepell, which describes itself as the largest administrator of retirement and benefits plans in Canada, has proved to be one of the biggest surprises of Mr. Poilievre’s tenure.”
Cue the obligatory romantic rehash, as Stone notes, “He also dated Jenni Byrne, one of Mr. Harper’s top political operatives, for years. His current girlfriend works for Conservative MP Michael Cooper.”
Mercifully not publicly linked by name to the honourable member, the delightful Anaida Galindo.
Ana, an escapee from socialist hellhole Venezuela, hit Frank‘s Hotties on the Hill registry in 2015 (since discontinued by order of the House of Commons Chief Human Resources Officer) whilst toiling winsomely in the office of Senate government leader Claude Carignan.
Talented Ana’s duties in arch-Catholic nutter Cooper’s office are clearly unequal to her vast energies, which she pours into sidelines like hustling memberships for Greco fitness, running her inevitable consulting company, Wellington Solutions, with Kampus Konservatives Brooklyn DeForest and Marcus Mattinson, and, when time permits, puffing Pierre with likes and retweets social media.
Frank salutes the resolute Ms. Galindo. There are certainly easier and more dignified ways to serve party and country than anywhere near the regrettable member for Carleton.