I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture starring that Philip Dustin Hoffman fella, unless that was him in Scarface, but it’s sad and whatnot that he’s dead. Ever since I got a bag of Percocets after my first colonoscopy I feel like I can understand the poor souls on junk. I know for a while there I was hooked on colonoscopies.
Hollywood actors are a funny lot, though. For one thing they’re all bent, even the straight ones. I think it goes back to Shakespeare not letting the girls play the lady parts.
Maybe that’s why so many of ’em can’t hold their liquor or heroin. Then they get addicted to rehab and it’s goodnight, Charlie Brown. Sure, it seemed like good, clean fun when I played the Major-General in our regiment’s modest production of Pirates of Penzance, but the poor bastards what dressed up in them frocks was never the same.