Dick Little: The Actor’s Life is Not For Me!

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture starring that Philip Dustin Hoffman fella, unless that was him in Scarface, but it’s sad and whatnot that he’s dead. Ever since I got a bag of Percocets after my first colonoscopy I feel like I can understand the poor souls on junk. I know for a while there I was hooked on colonoscopies.
Hollywood actors are a funny lot, though. For one thing they’re all bent, even the straight ones. I think it goes back to Shakespeare not letting the girls play the lady parts.
Maybe that’s why so many of ’em can’t hold their liquor or heroin. Then they get addicted to rehab and it’s goodnight, Charlie Brown. Sure, it seemed like good, clean fun when I played the Major-General in our regiment’s modest production of Pirates of Penzance, but the poor bastards what dressed up in them frocks was never the same.
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5 comments on “Dick Little: The Actor’s Life is Not For Me!
  1. OJM says:

    Dick is the very model of a major dipsomaniac
    The Legion is his habitat, and gin his aphroday-siac
    His cortex pickled like an egg, he’s certainly no brainiac
    But quite the very model of a major dipsomaniac.

    • Fred Hennessey says:

      Speaking of knee-jerk regressives:

      TO’s the very model of a
      Modern mayorality
      He smoked a shiny crack pipe to
      Increase his joviality
      And brother Doug supplied the hood with
      Hash a speciality
      They are the very model of a
      Modern mayorality

      Dreams and schemes and ferris wheels of
      Dubious legality
      A glitzy new casino tempting
      Citizens frugality
      And subways in Scarberia to
      Save Rob Ford’s plurality
      We are the very model of a
      Modern mayorality

  2. Buckwheat says:

    Don’t anyone get their knickers in a knot – it’s all BS. All’a Dick’s drinking buddies at the Legion know that there’s no way Dick would ever take off his beret to play the M-G. Besides, a little adjutant told me that he was really Mabel in that production he brags about. And he calls Willy Shakespeare’s girls bad!

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