Hey, North Africa, Your Bucket List Stinks!

I don’t like to hear all those stories about migrants dyin’ on ships in the Mediterranean, so the news of the layoffs at the CBC comes as a great relief.

Maybe now we’ll hear more “news you can use,” like whether the Shoppers up my street is ever going to accept President’s Choice points cards. I can’t get a straight answer out of ’em. Now there’s a job for “Marketplace,” if it’s still on.

Anyhow, it is a shame people are dyin’ tryin’ to get into Europe.

I nearly died myself makin’ the trip in ’44, chasin’ ol’ Musso up Italy’s bloody boot, and lemme tell ya it wasn’t worth it.

And that was before the foreigners took it over. Lord knows what it’s like now.

Before somebody gets her dick outta joint, this isn’t about race.

I just think folks oughta stay where they are and make the best of it.

The Jews in Miami are a good example. Who knows what tragedy would have befallen ’em if they’d pulled up stakes and moved to Tupelo.

Do you think all of them Indians what are crowdin’ into Winnipeg are happier now than if they’d stayed on the rez fryin’ baloney to their heart’s content?

It’s Winnipeg, after all. And the whiskey can move to them, they don’t need to move to the whiskey.

But if the Africans are dead set on shippin’ out, they clearly need better ships. And lookin’ on the bright side, this looks to be a boomin’ market for Canada’s shipbuilders.

They don’t need to be ocean-worthy – in fact, preferably not – just sturdy enough to make it to Sicily, or even Gibraltar.

How hard could it be? Make it a “Canada’s Worst Handyman” challenge.

I’d watch the hell outta that.

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