Bruce Carson: No whore like a whore one-third your age

A pity that Bruce Carson besties Peter Kent (Con.—Thornhill) and John Duncan (Con.—Vancouver Island North) are electorally engaged and could not be on hand to lend the Tory of ConvictionTM their moral support at his much-delayed trial for influence peddling.

It was, after all, these erstwhile cabmins on whose names the ex-PMO fixer is alleged to have traded so assiduously in his selfless quest to secure clean drinking water for thirsty First Nationals – and a 20 per cent cut of the action for his 22-year-old professional fiancée, Michele “Leanna VIP” McPherson.

Michele, who began her extraordinary career as an underage escort (and is reportedly well-known to other senior Tories), prior to landing at water filtration outfit H20 Pros, was also conspicuously absent from Bruce’s side. It was into Michele’s G-string, the court heard, that a $5,000 sponsorship earmarked for the AFN’s 2010 Christmas party disappeared.

Patrick Hill, president of H20 pros, had cut the cheque to sticky-fingered Bruce, but a funny thing happened on the way to the pow-wow.

“The start of your fortune – love bc,” Bruce wrote Michele in a September 10 email that year.

One might well ask: Whoever could have seen this whole sordid fustercluck coming?

And one might well answer that anyone with a Frank subscription could have at least made an educated guess. My organ was the first to raise the alarm in 2006, when the President Steve’s PMO, desperate for experienced hands, tapped the egregious Byron Muldoon bumboy and Peter Mackay crony, despite his impressive criminal record.

Back in 1981, the Soloway Wright legalist had been disbarred by the Law Society of Upper Canada and sentenced to 18 months as a guest of the Queen for forging the signatures of two clients, bilking them out of some $24,000.

In 1990, Bruce racked up three more convictions, this time for credit card fraud, and a stint of court-ordered psychological counseling.

But his Tory pals came through again and again, landing him much secure employment on the Hill over the years, most hilariously with the Conservative caucus in the Senate, in which capacity he appeared before a committee to answer questions on, er, workplace ethics.

Much embarrassment when Sun Media followed up on the Frank report, despite efforts by Harper henchthingies Sandra Buckler and Ian Brodie to kill the story by lobbying the Tory-toadying higher-ups at the trash tab.

Brucie hung on, serving as Harper’s acting chief of staff, helming Rona Ambrose’s office at Environment, and livening up Brodie’s going-away party at 24 Sussex by showing up with American money launderer and brothel-runner Barbara Lynn Khan on his arm.

The hits kept coming as Bruce skipped to the soi-dissant private sector, landing a fun job as executive director for the Canada School of Energy and Environment at the University of Calgary.

Then the Aboriginal Peoples Television Network interrupted an important broadcast of Bingo and a Movie to drop the bombshell allegation that Bruce had been trading on his access with the Harper GovernmentTM to flog water purification systems to reserves.

The call from APTN had occasioned much shitting of bricks in PMO, and Harper’s Girl Friday Ray Novak, as soon as he caught up on his unread emails, whistled for the RCMP.

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5 comments on “Bruce Carson: No whore like a whore one-third your age
  1. OJM says:

    There is hardly anything in this world more ridiculous than an elderly man still in thrall to his John Thomas.

  2. blansky says:

    True, blue Tory.

  3. mmedesevigne says:

    What is wrong with everybody who ever hired this a**hole?? Don’t they do background checks and security screening anymore?? Carson is the walking definition of someone who doesn’t pass the smell test.

  4. Steve-O says:

    Bruce Carson, a good fit for Harper’s gang of thugs and leaches.

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