Desperately jobbing Justin

Is it time for the increasingly desperate Tories to go nuclear on Justin Trudeau?

For the past couple of years, Little ShitsTM in the PMO have been stockpiling dirt on Justin’s extra-marital hijinks, allegedly with partners of both persuasions.

And now that the Liberals are gaining traction in Ontario and Trudeau has pulled ahead of Tom Mulcair in the latest polls, this seems like a good moment to drop the big one.

The Tories planned to nail Trudeau during the Liberal leadership convention in April 2013, but were consumed with keeping a lid on the simmering Mike Duffy scandal.

Rumours have followed Justin like dew on a shillelagh, and the gregarious scion has done little to dispel the tattle.

To hear the Tories tell it, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and young Justin has inherited not only mother Maggie’s intellect, but also father Pierre’s libido (cf. Barbra Streisand, Liona Boyd, Margot Kidder, et al.).

For years, he was on the road pressing the flesh while bride Sophie remained chez Trudeau avec brats, keeping the home fries burning. The unofficial party line used to be that Justin, while perhaps adapting slowly to married life, had cleaned up his travelling road show.

Should the Tories slip in the polls over the next couple of weeks, one of their reliable retainers in the gutter press will likely be tapped to slosh their slime into the public domain.

Likely tools include Brian Lilley, although Rebel Media’s audience of neck-bearded trolls doesn’t offer the same bang for the Tory buck as, say, David Akin, Sunshine Boy on Parliament Hill.

The Tories have held off thus far only because these epic smears so often backfire.

Readers will recall the final days of the 2011 campaign and Toronto Sun revelations about Jack Layton. The late NDP leader had been discovered by police in a Toronto rub and tug massage parlour in 1996– for which Layton was never charged.

The identity of the party behind the smear may never be known, but a similar tale about Saint Jack had been shopped by a Liberal campaign operation to the National Post two days before the 2008 federal election.

In the end, the Sun story failed to produce, er, a happy ending: The story bombed spectacularly and the Dippers marched on to form Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition.

In other clumsy muck-flinging, defrocked Tory Senator Patrick Brazeau was up late celebrating the birth of daughter Elie Sept 27.

In his understandable excitement, Brazrail tweeted yet more speculation, since deleted, that the Harper marriage had run into turbulence during the 2011 election and asking whether President Steve is a “ladies’ man” whilst on tour.

It is to laugh.

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2 comments on “Desperately jobbing Justin
  1. Papadoc says:

    Christ, a life like his fathers will only enhance Justin’s appeal compared to grey, lumbering, sexless Steve. Nude swimming again at 24 Sussex, bring it on.

  2. QCGirl says:

    Gee. I hope Justin is not dumb enough to get caught doing stupid stuff. That would be so incredibly dumb.

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