Turnip Truckin’ 2015: Worst Candidates

If your election persists for more than 70 days, consult a satirical biweekly. Herewith, Frank inventories the least appealing offerings being foisted upon a long, long, long-suffering populace in this, our 42nd general enervation.

First up, named and shamed all in one, the mooks with monikers that spoiled your ballot before the campaign even began. And the losers are:

Gary Anandasangaree (Lib.—Scarborough-Rouge Park)
Roland Dick (Con.—Laval-Les Îles)
Kent Hehr (Lib.—Calgary Centre)
Pixie Hobby (NDP—South Surrey-White Rock)
Tito-Dante Marimpietri (Lib.—Oshawa)
Anita Payne (Green—Lanark-Frontenac-Kingston)
Jean-Pierre Pigeon (Con.—Gaspésie-Les Îles de la Madeleine)
Jutta Splettstoesser (Green—Huron-Bruce)
Andy Wang (Con.—Nepean)

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8 comments on “Turnip Truckin’ 2015: Worst Candidates
  1. blansky says:

    Is Pixie Hobby a stripper?

  2. TonyH says:

    “Is Pixie Hobby a stripper?”

    More aging hippie lawyer, from a quick Google.

  3. Patrick60 says:

    We need to know why they are wankers!

  4. daveS says:

    Better names than Michael “Fish” Bate

  5. Woody says:

    Master Bate to you, sir!

  6. daveS says:

    But “all eyes were on Lynton Crosby, the Australian strategist known as the“Wizard of Oz”, and the man who will mastermind Mr. Harper’s long, arduous campaign.”
    That will make “name changes”

  7. OJM says:

    The NDP is running someone in Edmonton—Wetaskiwin called “Fritz Kathryn Bitz” – shurely this merits an honourable mention.

    And what about the Conservative’s “Ann Bastarache” in Beauséjour – a name that, if muttered loudly, will immediately get you into a bar-fight in at least fifty countries around the world.

  8. daveS says:

    Pixie Hobby is in, as Liberal candidate resigns
    “One commenter on Liberal Joy Davies’s resignation post on Facebook offered this assessment of the situation: “Someone expressed their true beliefs. Get rid of that candidate. We must ensure the public has only bullshitters to choose from.”
    The Liberals plan to pick a new candidate to replace Davies.
    Candidates in the riding include Pixie Hobby of the NDP, former Surrey mayor Dianne Watts for the Conservatives, and Larry Colero of the Greens.”

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