Free Water? Whatever Floats Your Boat, Hippie!

Well folks I guess it’s the silly season, because our resident crackpots with nothin’ better to drink are now up in arms about Nestlé bottlin’ our water.

I can’t make sense of it. Bottles are far and away the best things for puttin’ water in.

Would it be more “green” to use boxes made out of other boxes? I suppose. But don’t tell me they wouldn’t leak like a sonuvabitch.

The lakes are just sittin’ there, people. With most of the fish dead and gone, they’re good for nothin’ but keepin’ our cottage beers cold and breedin’ mosquitoes.

And ever since refrigeration has come into its own I don’t see the point in hangin’ on to ’em.

Time to wake up and smell the water.

A lake might be pretty to look at, sure, but so is a French girl dolled up like Irma la Douce. And so long as ya got a nice photograph there’s no need to worry about their upkeep or invasive parasites.

And once our mosquitoes catch that damn head-shrinkin’ disease, watch out! We’ll be payin’ the Nestlé people to drain our lakes.

Before it comes to that, don’t it make sense to make a few bucks off it?

And by a few, I mean $3.71 per million litre. I know it sounds cheap, but if ya take the time to convert to imperial measure it looks like we’re comin’ out ahead on the deal.

I know the high-brow slugabeds who want everything to be free won’t want to hear it, but folks don’t have a right to water. If ya don’t believe me, just ask the natives up Grassy Narrows way.

They’ve been gettin’ by without drinkin’ the stuff now for donkey’s years and ya don’t hear them complain about it.

At any rate I don’t.

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2 comments on “Free Water? Whatever Floats Your Boat, Hippie!
  1. OJM says:

    Water, water, everywhere, but not a drop to Dick. (No matter…I hear he prefers his Canadian Club neat.)

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