The Girl From Ipanema Has Dysentery!

I swear, they put the Olympics in the craziest places. Like that time in Berlin with the Nazis or the other time in Montreal with the French.

Hitler, of course, knew how to throw a party, but Canada was a terrific host back in ’76. Besides not finishing the stadium until just a few months ago, we let other countries win all the events. Best host ever, the record books say!

And now it’s in Rio.

I’m sure that sounded like a good idea at the time Mr. Barry Manilow was top of the pops, but apparently it’s now the toilet of a whole continent. And not the most sanitary continent at that.

Judgin’ by reports from the frontline, people down there would just as soon wipe their arse on ya as give ya the time of day!

Now, Rio’s in Brazil, as the scholars among us probably know already, especially the geography buffs.

I have no trouble with Brazilians, except every four years at World Cup time when Toronto’s lousy with Portuguese tryin’ to pass. Even if they look sharp in yellow and speak the same D-list language they’re not foolin’ me.

But the real Brazilians in their natural habitat, that’s another thing in the altogether.

They got crime that makes Mexico want to build a wall and bugs that’ll shrink yer goddamn head. And the sewage situation is so bad they tell ya not to eat the water.

I don’t know why they couldn’t clean their water for the Games, at least in the swimmin’ pools. Did they look into bottled water, I wonder?

A cargo container from the good folks at NestlĂ© could have sorted ’em out, and they could have shipped cocaine or what have you back in the empties.

See, what the Olympics really needs to turn itself around is to be run by someone with a keen business mind.

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3 comments on “The Girl From Ipanema Has Dysentery!
  1. OJM says:

    Dick’s just pissed because CBC is running the women’s beach volleyball when DejaView has “Matlock”.

  2. daveS says:

    Or pissed that the Common man (David Common, CBC’s worst newsreader/reporter) to Rio to do the World (yawn) Report and Olympic coverage from there.

    It would be better if a real man of the people, the commons, like Dick Little made his Olympic-sized opinions known.
    He can handle pirhanas, caimans, capybaras and the like too.

    • OJM says:

      Not to mention loin-clothed Yanomami dart-blowers who’ve grown fat and cocky on a steady diet of cultural anthropologists and environmental activists. (“What’s that, Roger Rainforest? You want me jump in pot? Okie-dokie…but firs’ say ‘ello to my liddle frien’.”)

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