Jason Kenney Outing Shocker!

Oh, dear, another pothole on the Trail of Tears for Ric Dolphin.

Long-time readers of Trash Magazine will recall the right-wing foamer from his salad days in Edmonton, where he typed for an assortment of publications in the eighties, including Maclone’s, the Globe and Minion and the Calgary Herald.

The years have not been kind to Ric. First he lost his “k,” then some of his marbles and, finally, his job at the Herald—an exit hastened by his nose stretching yarn about First Nations reserves, which he described as “the road to hell . . . a society in shambles.” His story also relied on invented sources, including a “taxi driver,” and a “waitress.”

Dolphin

Alas, this fiction proved too pathetic, even by the Herald’s renowned sub standards, and Ric was soon for the high jump.

He resurfaced as a typist for Alberta Report, but the loony western separatist rag soon expired; a victim of its own conviction that the market is never wrong.

For the past couple of years he’s been shit disturbing with his online tip sheet, Insight Into Government, where he often attacks natives, women and gays, including, but not limited to, Jason Kenney.

To his credit, Pric is the first member of the fourth estate in Canada to come out and repeat publicly the worst kept secret in Alberta politics: Quoth Ric, in his most recent publication: “Short, fat, balding, privately gay, but conservatively Catholic, Kenney, 49, is not the most physically prepossessing, family-friendly, or populist of candidates, despite aspirations at becoming a roly-poly Ralph Klein 2.0.”

Doubtless, that reference to the beloved former preem will bring back memories of another unfortunate mishap some years ago, when Ric was a typist for the Western Standard aka Al-Ezra Martyrs Brigade.

In the event, he opined about Ralph Klein’s political future, claiming the then-preem wouldn’t be retiring as expected because of pressure from Colleen, Alberta’s First Lady.

He quoted an unidentified “fisherman” pal of Ralph’s (Ken King) as saying that if Ralph stepped down, Colleen would be “just another Indian.”

Mrs. Ralph, who is Métis, was deeply wounded and Ralph was, er, white-faced with fury. Even old Klein Tories, anti-abortionists and oil patch rig pigs that had subscribed to the Standard cancelled in droves, and the prairie piffle sheet flamed out the following year.

As for his “outing” of M. Kenney, Ric has wisely gone on vacation and thus will miss the mini shitstorm his remarks have engendered.

He’s back in the saddle after Labour Day, at which time he can no doubt shed light on the source of his Kenney scoop (“Hairdresser?” “Florist?” “Brian Jean?”).

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5 comments on “Jason Kenney Outing Shocker!
  1. OJM says:

    “Flipper” to his friends, shurely.

  2. Papadoc says:

    What a shocking outing…I did not realize Kenney was short! He’s sure to be pissed with this revelation.

  3. Forbes Kennedy says:

    Kenney looks like something that broke loose from Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

  4. wolfkir says:

    “Prepossessing physically”? Ric can’t even get his idoms straight. Shirley, he mean “unprepossessing”, right?

  5. phargrav says:

    Dolphin was probably the last person to know about Kenney’s preference for men. k.d.lang did some useful work here. On March 29, after Kenney blurted out that kids joining gay-straight alliances needed to be outed to their parents by school officials, she tweeted: “You’re gay aren’t you @jkenny?” Later in the day Kenny had a brown alert and retracted much of what he’d said about outing teenagers.

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