Cliche-O-Matic: Canard

Why a canard? And, more to the point, why is everyone hatching them—hideous, scatalogical, unutterably fatuous, monstrous, gigantic and just plain barnyard-variety canards—against the greatest president who ever tweeted between two shoes?

Mercifully, there was one specific incident that will render this hideous canard unforgettable, a scarlet letter to its promoters: that Donald Trump engaged a group of Russian prostitutes to urinate in a bed allegedly occupied in a Moscow luxury hotel some years before by Mr. and Mrs. Obama.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, National Review, Jan. 17, 2017.

The media falsely accused him of calling alien migrants rapists and The New York Times invented the canard that he had mocked a handicapped person.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, Newsmax, Jan. 24, 2017.

This scatological canard had drifted for months around the American media, and not even that rutting mink-farm of never-Trumpery would touch it until the scurrilous left-wing blog BuzzFeed picked it up and CNN then claimed it as a scoop that was the fruit of their immense journalistic enterprise.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, National Post, Jan. 27, 2017.

The unutterably fatuous canard that the Trump campaign colluded with the Russian government will wither amid the ziggurat of layered investigations, but the Republicans will be able to ensure that this happens without undue delay and that it receives adequate publicity as it collapses around the ears of the egregious congressman from Hollywood, Adam Schiff.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, American Greatness, May 1, 2017.

The next mighty confection of moral righteousness was the canard that the Trump campaign had colluded with Russia, a story for which the Obama administration spent its last six months feverishly using all intelligence and investigative agencies to find proof.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, May 16, 2017.

The Democrats and their attack dogs in the media and the jilted, bitchy nerds on the highbrow Republican right are left only with the withering delusion of the Russian-collusion canard, and their imperishable, wistful snobbery.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, National Review, May 24, 2017.

The collusion canard was fabricated by Hillary Clinton and her campaign manager to explain her defeat.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, National Post, June 16, 2017.

The president did not lead effectively, never showed a thorough grasp of the complex issues, and has been partially off balance throughout his term because of the obsessive mudslinging of the Democrats and most of the media, especially over the monstrous canard of collusion with the Russians in the last election.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, National Post, July 21, 2017.

It spuriously implies improprieties in current relations between the government and Trump’s business interests, and, fantastically, it blames the confection of the Frankenstein Monster of canards about election collusion with Russia on Trump, and not on the bloodless assassins of the Democratic party and their parrots in the national media.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, National Review, July 25, 2017.

The gigantic canard about collusion between the Trump campaign and the Kremlin cannot possibly preoccupy the American political arena much longer.
—Conrad, Lord Tubby, National Interest, Aug. 23, 2017.

It was inexpressibly pleasant to see a CNN “expert” refer to the revelation that the sole remaining, pitiful wisp of hopeful damage to Trump and support of the collusion canard was this bit of slime bought and paid for by the Clinton campaign as, get ready for it, “A talking point for the Republicans!”
—Conrad, Lord Tubby,, Oct. 25, 2017.

Score: Conrad, Lord Tubby, 11.

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7 comments on “Cliche-O-Matic: Canard
  1. OJM says:

    Talk about yer Canard Enchainé.

    • daveS says:

      Le Canard enchaîné is a French weekly, satrical magazine (somewhat like Frank, but without as much politeness) founded in 1915. The current circulation of the ‘Canard’ and its insider knowledge of government is slightly above 700,000, about the number of Frank readers.
      This is not related to the English usage of the word “canard” derived from hypothetical stories from mid-century France about selling half a duck, or a hoax. See for 21 April 2015 on origins of the term canard

      • OJM says:

        I was trying to make a clever comment about Lord Crossing-Guard’s apparent fixation (enchainé…get it?) on the word “canard”, thinking it would be cute to reference a French satirical magazine in a Canadian satirical magazine…sorry for being a pretentious twat…I’ll stick to fart jokes from now on.

      • Alan Smithee says:

        Frank has 700,000 readers?! Dollar store glasses shurely!

  2. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    Canard: A small winglike projection attached to an aircraft forward of the main wing to provide extra stability or control, sometimes replacing the tail.

  3. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    Does Frank present a brown-nosing award at the end of the year? Because
    this is truly epic.

    The problem is that Trump can sense a suck-hole & enjoys torturing toadies.
    I wonder if Lord Black will join Christie & Romney as objects of gleeful torture.

    This is a President who tears the wings off flies; to him, Lord Crossharbour is a fat
    fly in a jar, buzzing.

  4. Nete Peedham says:

    Canard…also see…duck.

    If it has feathers and floats on water, it may be a canard…but in the case of Black, it’s a loon.

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