Don’t It Make Patrick Brown’s Balls Blue!

Cripes, it’s gettin’ so an honest pervert can’t ply some Catholic school coquette with liquor to loosen her plaid knickers an’ still expect to lead the Tories into a Spring election.

This is political correctness gone mad, bad and dangerously close to reelecting Kathleen Wynne.

Time was a fella could have his fun without need of Steve Paikin gettin’ involved. And I don’t mean my time; I mean like five minutes ago!

I’m just glad my datin’ days are behind me, an’ you should be, too. By heck, I’d be in the papers every other day for some crime against humanity, like stealin’ a kiss (petty theft at worst!) or maybe some harmless, everyday frottage. Or I suppose you think young gents should pass their time on the subway by reading The Handmaid’s Tale, because you’re an idiot.

So it’s farewell then, Downtown Patrick Brown. I hardly knew the man. Probably cuz old geezers ain’t his type, and every normal geezer would say that’s to the man’s credit.

I was never a big fan, not even after I remembered who he was, but he’s startin’ to grow on me. Like a plantar wart, I suppose that’s harmless enough now.

I for one would like somebody with his kinda stamina an’ enthusiasm to be makin’ whoopee not just for himself but for the whole province. It might not make me proud exactly, but it’d be like whoopee in the bank.

But I guess there’s nothin’ doin’ now but to try to make the best of a bad feminist type of situation. And that can mean only one of two final solutions: Kellie Leitch or Doug Ford.

Miss Leitch is lookin’ for work now, probably in a field where she don’t have to compete against foreigners, so leadin’ the Ontario Conservatives would seem to be a natural. So if she means to Make Ontario Great Again I hope she gets serious soon about crankin’ out hats with that slogan on ’em.

And Dougie of course needs no introduction, cuz he already knows where ya live and wouldn’t think twice about breakin’ your legs.

Much to consider!

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8 comments on “Don’t It Make Patrick Brown’s Balls Blue!
  1. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    Note how Patrick’s staff scattered like ants from a can of Raid. In public service, self-preservation is key.

    • wolfkir says:

      My machiavellian conspiracy radar antenna is up pinging the terrain. Was it an inside job to get rid of of a Liberal-Lite soi-disant fake conservative? Is it a coup by the alt.right wing of the Ontario PCs? Consider the cheerful glee with which Fedeli put on the proffered mantle of interim leadership. And why the anonymity? Why so few juicy details? Was it really just a couple of bad dates? These are questions that come to mind when there’s nothing better to attract attention.

      • phargrav says:

        The CTV typists who broke the story say they have damning text messages as corroboration. They’ll be hanged as high as Brown has been if it turns out they don’t. At least I hope the gallows is erected that high.

  2. Patrick60 says:

    Semper Fideli, I guess.

  3. howellmr says:

    What the men in this country need is #MeScrewed where they can make their case against anonymous allegations. What’s sauce for the goose is sauces for all these ganders getting cooked.

    • OJM says:

      “Honk! Honk! Honk! Anyone ever told you you have a beautiful beak? How ’bout we go back to your place and I fertilize your eggs? Honk! Honk! Honk!”

    • Alan Smithee says:

      #MeScrewed? Are men feeling left behind without their own hashtag? I know what you mean; the mens just can’t catch a break. They’ve been so oppressed over the years. Especially the white ones. Zzzz…

      A male friend said to me recently, “So does this mean I can’t ‘come onto’ a woman anymore?” To which I replied, yes and er.. yes.

      Use your words boys. Not your dick. Not your hands. Not your job. Not your expense account. Not your influence. And especially not your access to the taxpayer teat.

      Speaking of teats …

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