Trudeau #MeToo: Money for Old Grope?

At this ticklish juncture in Canada-U.S. relations, it pains me to hear tales of our feminist prime minister getting handsy with a female reporter at a festival back in 2000 (Frank 109) repeated in Breitbart and the New York Times.

Even more painful was the sight of Warren Kinsella, who helped reheat the story on social media, making it all about him once again. Kinsellout, stung by suggestions in the Times that his po-faced ratfuck of Trudeau played into the hands of the Trumpers, crayoned an open letter/resumé to the Gray Lady:

“In her June 8, 2018 news story, ‘Between the smiles, mounting tensions between Trudeau and Trump,’ your Catherine Porter goes to considerable lengths to insinuate that a report about Mr. Trudeau ‘handling’ a young reporter in British Columbia in August 2000 only surfaced as part of some ill-defined conspiracy by pro-Trump forces. In this, she is flatly wrong, and I would know.

“The article, from the Creston Valley Advance, was sent to me – an author, a former Hillary Clinton volunteer and a one-time Special Assistant to another Canadian Liberal Prime Minister, Jean Chretien – last Wednesday evening. It was sent to me by a Canadian Member of Parliament who requested anonymity. I agreed to give it.

“I investigated (shurely ‘read’?!–ed.) the report. The eighteen-year-old article was authentic. It stated as a fact that that Mr. Trudeau, years before he himself became a Member of Parliament, “handled” a young female reporter at a local festival. The article further stated that Mr. Trudeau had apologized for his conduct, quoting him as saying he wouldn’t have done it ‘if I had known you were reporting for a national paper.’

“When I published the editorial and my own commentary on my web site – just two monosyllabic words, ‘Um, what?’ – I was not doing so as a tool of Breitbart (as Ms. Porter insinuates) or because I was “a well-known critic of Mr. Trudeau” (as Ms. Porter states).

“I was doing so because I have been very active in promoting the stories of Canadian women who have raised their voices in the #MeToo moment. I did so because, as noted, I considered the notion that our Prime Minister had allegedly sexually assaulted a woman to be, as noted, quite newsworthy.

“If your Ms. Porter had bothered to make the merest effort to seek my comment, I would have told her all that. She however made no such effort whatsoever. Instead, she published a misleading and dishonest account.”

Misleading and dishonest accounts, Warren’s had a few. He failed to mention, of course, his brief tenure in crisis communications for Hedley earlier this year, when the band’s lead singer Jacob Hoggard was accused of numerous offside acts of fan friction, including unpermitted packings of the peanut butter. Even after Navigator, Warren’s previous employer, had dumped Hedley, Kinsella and wife/partner Lisa accepted a stonking retainer to refute the crazy lying sluts (shurely ‘#ibelieveher’?!–ed.) When the going got predictably tough, they bailed and sued anyone who questioned their #MeToo bona fides (Franks passim.)

Warren’s been shopping thinly-sourced tales of a too-tactile Trudeau for months. Back in February, he was breathlessly claiming inside knowledge of “creeps and criminals slithering through Canadian corridors of power…[who] will soon be going down.”

“One of these men is very, very powerful. The stories have been known about him for three years. His name will shock you.”

Mark Bonokoski, Kinsella’s brother-in-arms at the Toronto Sun, joined in the wink-wink-say-no-more, hinting that Kinsella was referring to Justin, who might well be outed “within hours.” When CTV gumshoe Mercedes Stephenson asked the PM if there might be anything in his own past he’d like to maybe get ahead of, he doubled down, declaring his always-careful respect for the headspace of peoplekind, or something similar. Then everyone went back to sleep.

Bono was quick to bite on Warren’s worm this time, too, in a nuanced thinkpiece headlined “Shocker! Resurfaced editorial slams Justin Trudeau as a groper.”

But from the country’s more discreet and respectable media, nary a peep, so far. The ancient allegations, after all, have proven a bitch to substantiate. Half-assed attempts by my organ to contact the woman involved (there were only two reporters on the masthead of the pissant Creston Valley Advance, and one was named Paul) produced no enlightenment.

Buzzfeed struck out, too. The National Post, after sending the woman a letter and knocking on her door, finally got a formal refusal to talk, and so far has published nothing. What gives?

Could be it’s been a couple of decades, she’s moved on, and couldn’t be arsed to relive the incident.

But media inquiries into the PM’s history have been repeatedly frustrated. Rumours persist that Gerry Butts and crew, aware of their their boy’s libidinous past (his adventures as a backbench MP, readers may recall, landed him in couples counseling with Sophie) did their best to sanitize some of his more #MeToo-able episodes before he sought the party leadership.

They secured understandings with ex-jogging partners, and perhaps 3-5 formal non-disclosure agreements, for consideration unknown. Or so the story goes.

Nobody is suggesting that Liberal hush money is depriving Canadian posterity of the PM’s past, er, consultations with the citizenry. Nor should they.

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4 comments on “Trudeau #MeToo: Money for Old Grope?
  1. hillman says:

    So he was tapping ass as a backbencher!?! I have a newfound respect for the molester!

  2. allenkwpaley says:

    √ Goatee
    √ Oakleys
    √ Tank top
    √ Choker necklace
    √ Tribal dragon shirt
    ??? Pleated chinos ???

    Begrudgingly fair to say “PMJT: not 100% douche”

  3. Forbes Kennedy says:

    Shocked to read that the gropee had a vagina.

  4. OJM says:

    Wente’s now on this, as well…nice to see the whole team pulling together to help make Andrew Wonderbread electable and put President Steve back in charge.

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