No Beer Illegal! Every Beer a Wanted Beer!

Y’know, when there’s so much bad news in the world, like how the global warmin’ hoax keeps snowballin’ and it’s still legal to vote New Democrat, it’s nice to know we got a premier now who gives us good news, if not news beyond all natural belief, every goddamn hour of the day.

Sex ed has gone the way of the dodo, but don’t get yer hopes up, Quebec; we’re not about to die out. Ontario’s youths might taste like chicken but they’re not that stupid. Give the kids a Montovani long player and some rubbers for their 18th birthday an’ they’ll put two an’ two together, especially now they’re gonna learn arithmetic like Jesus did.

(Oh hey, liberals, don’ worry about yer li’l pre-ops not gettin’ an education in transgenderfication, not so long as The History Channel’s on basic cable an’ they keep shovin’ MASH reruns down our throats. But you’ll hafta explain Klinger to ’em yourself, like parents are supposed to.)

Oil prices are comin’ down faster than our immigration levels, which I’ll grant is a good news/bad news story, but Rome wasn’t ethnically cleansed in a day. Meantime, even when sober we get to drive without a care in the world.

Speakin’ of energy, who has seen the wind farm? If ya live in Ontario then not your grandchildren, bucko!

An’ Mr Ford, good as his word, got rid of the six million dollar man, Lee Majors. The Fall Guy, they call him, but don’t kid yourself, he had a lot to answer for. Tough luck for him I don’t care to hear his side of the story an’ neither do you.

Mind, this is all before buck a beer kicks in. Just imagine how good this’ll sound when we’re all shitfaced!

#promisesmadepromiseskept – Dougie’s gone from dealin’ hash to dealin’ in hashtags. That’s a feel good an’ numb story if ever there was one.

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3 comments on “No Beer Illegal! Every Beer a Wanted Beer!
  1. mmedesevigne says:

    I’m gonna need all the help I can get to make it through the next four years!

    • OJM says:

      We’ll all have to adapt…just remember to blame “the elitists” whenever you encounter the slightest disappointment or setback in life and that from now on the plural of “you” is “youz”.

  2. Patrick60 says:

    Oh, Frank, a nation casts its weary eyes to you!

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